Recovery
by Gemdrive
Summary: Leo suffers a breakdown after spending eight months in enemy hands. MAJOR ANGST! If you don't like character suffering please don't read it and then flame me afterwards. Thank you : Complete!
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: I do not own the TMNT or any related characters, Eastman and Laird do.

Authors note: This story is rated R for later chapters, if not a little for this one too, if you don't like to see the TMNT, especially Leo, going through bad stuff please don't read this. It is major character angst. As the description says, Leo suffers a major breakdown after spending eight months in enemy hands. The things that happened to him in those eight months will be told in the story, which is why I've rated it as R.

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Oh well, here goes.

RECOVERY

Chapter 1

He stares into the distance, the trees blowing in the wind creating a soft rustling sound as the leaves collide in a random dance. The idle chatter of crickets in the failing light and the sound of trickling water from the lake as it flows help to sooth his senses and lower his guard. He idly swings his arm back and forth, twisting his hand at each end to feel the water as it pushed against his palm and flowed through his fingers. His eyes slide closed and he breathes deeply, tipping his head back and taking in the sensations about him. He feels the breeze brush past him, it wasn't cold, it wasn't warm either, he decided that it was just right. He sat cross-legged on thick long grass and felt it tickling the outside of his legs, it didn't bother him that much but sooner or later he knew that he would have to scratch. As the sun slowly disappeared he thought about the serenity that he always found here, mainly after an arduous battle where either he or his brothers were injured and needed recuperation. Or just to get away from the bustle of city noise and the chaos that came as a natural daily event for New York, he huffed, at least in the shadows anyway. Chaos was a natural phenomenon in the alleys and side streets, old abandoned warehouses, (why did they always pick abandoned warehouses?) and anywhere else that could contain a Foot ninja. He sighed, slightly frustrated that he allowed those thoughts to surface he cursed himself quietly and pushed them away, he was here to relax after all. He scratched at the side of his legs in frustration, the grass was becoming annoying and it wasn't helping his concentration. He stopped and pressed his hands onto the ground feeling the grass crushed beneath the weight, it was cool and light, almost soft. And damned irritating.

He pushed himself up violently and began pacing back and forth in the small opening of the forest by the lake, his steps were loud, heavy and erratic, the surroundings seemed to notice his change, the crickets stopped chirping. In fact the silence that now came with his frustration was deafening. The trees stopped dancing, the lake stopped moving, the grass no longer pushed its luck with him. Everything became silent. Everything stopped, everything hushed.

Hushed.

He wished the voices would hush, those voices were the only thing that stopped him from being who he once was.

He _was_ Leonardo. Now he's not so sure.

It was so long ago now, the worst moment of his life, the most painful moments of his existence seemed like nothing more than a dream to him but his family are quick to remind him that it wasn't. 'Face facts' they say, 'it happened and you need to deal with it' they say. Well they weren't there. They didn't feel the pain that he had felt, the torture that he had to endure whilst he waited for his family to find him. He tried to escape there's no doubt about that, but it was futile and The Shredder was well prepared. It was all planned out and Oroku Saki had his winnings for his efforts. He gained one turtle and ripped him apart, tore at his very soul and left nothing but an empty husk behind.

How many times had he tried to free himself of the pain? The scars on his body from his own efforts to stop it, to save himself the dignity that they tried so desperately to take from him. And succeeded. His brothers had told him of his condition when they found him and shortly after when they managed to get him home, he wasn't their brother then and he doubted that he was now.

The humiliation of it all was the worst, he hadn't believed that he could ever break under heavy torture…and he didn't, not the way he thought he would anyway. He didn't tell them anything, even after they took his sanity. But then, something snapped, like a rubber band that's been stretched to its limits and finally given up under the strain of it all. Leonardo broke. He gave up trying to fight, he gave up trying to hold back tears and screams, he let go. Saki realised that it was over, he knew that there was nothing more that he could gain from the screaming, cursing animal and ordered his ninja to put the beast out of it's misery.

Leo remembered the cold white room that served as his home for eight months, he remembered the room changing in light and size. It was only later that he found out from Raphael that they had been moving him from place to place to prevent his family from finding and rescuing him.

The white room was supposed to be his final destination, the last thing in this world that he would ever see would be the whiteness that flooded the room, the light reminding him of his failure to maintain his composure under the pressures of torture, the whiteness to remind him of his loneliness, the whiteness, the light.

He hated light, detested it. It laughed at him, reminding him of that past that he tries so hard to push away. He knew that he should turn back and face it, the true path to letting him heal is to face it like the weakness that _it_ is, but he knew that it was easier said than done.

He chuckled lightly at how sane he began to sound and that if his brothers were here they would patronise him with convictions that he was healing and that everything would be all right. He was growing tired of that, the constant reassurances from his family as they 'nursed' him back to health. Nursed.

He huffed.

It was more like treating a sick child and soothing it with words of comfort and promise, 'you'll be okay, Leo' they said, 'you'll be better in no time' they said, 'just give it a little time' and 'we're all here for you' they said. What do they know? They weren't there then and because of that, he resented them. A small part of him knew that they did everything that they could do at the time to rescue him from the pain, but his hate and despair had more strength at the moment and he resented them. The cosy comfortable surroundings that they had available to them whilst he had what? A single white room, a cold floor to sleep on, cold meals that were ridiculously too small to satisfy his hunger and horribly tasteless. In the end, the food stopped coming. The water didn't, but that too was awful, only drunk in desperation and a want for survival.

Leo grimaced at the memory, his pacing increasing in speed but then he stopped and glanced at the large tree that stood looming over him, menacingly showing it's power like Saki had done too many times before, he grew even angrier as his fists clenched and unclenched and he went at it.

His fists slammed into the trunk, pounding faster and faster. He felt the blood begin to creep slowly between his fingers but didn't feel the pain, he needed a release and thinking about it all was useless, action was the answer. He began to scream, more of a battle cry than anything else as he felt the tension slowly loosening its grip on him, flowing out of him with the blood that now dripped to the grass below. He began to feel… better, as if pain could make it all stop, pain unlike what he had endured in Saki's keeping, but a pain nonetheless.

Then someone gripped him, wrapping their arms around his upper arms and pulling back violently, Leo kicked and screamed at the air as his own kind of therapy was so rudely interrupted but the grip about his chest was relentlessly tight. Once far enough from the tree the grip was loosened and Leo wrenched himself free, spinning quickly to glare at the source of his renewed anger. Raphael stood in front him with his arms crossed in an I'm-not-impressed look, his own anger evident on his face. He didn't speak as Leo stared, his shoulders slumped in exhaustion and his chest heaving, his fists clenching and unclenching unaware that they still dripped blood and tainted the grass. Raphael remained expressionless.

"What are you doing Leo?" he asked calmly.

"Leave me alone!" Leo all but shouted, there was venom in his voice, he didn't like the interruption and his brother was the cause. He shook violently, his brothers wanted him to heal and yet when he tries to, they stop him. Did they really want him to get better? Did they really think that words would work when he knew that it was actions that were the true answer?

"What? So you can start pounding the shit outta the tree again? Raph didn't like Leo's outburst, he didn't like his appearance, he looked like an animal that's just made a kill, now it stood standing over it's prey and threatening him to stay away from his dinner.

"Just go AWAY!" Leo turned back quickly towards the tree and when he was near he raised his fist. His anger was building back up and he hated the feeling, he was growing weary of the feeling.

Raph hooked his arm around Leo's and pulled back violently, forcing Leo to spin around and face him, "Stop it Leo, please just stop. Look" he pulled Leo's hands up and held them for him to see, "Look at your hands Leo, look what you've done"

Leo seethed, he knew what he'd done. What did Raph think he was? A child? Didn't he understand that this was the best way? Didn't he realise that Leo was the best person to know what it was that he needed to make him better? He twisted his hands free of his stronger brothers firm grip, forcefully wrenching his arms back and away, one glance into his brothers eyes and he saw something that infuriated him, pity. Damn him, who was he to pity him, who was he to look at him in that way and make him feel so small and powerless. From somewhere deep inside of him, a single feeling pushed it's way to the surface and later on his actions would be shrugged off as an act of insanity by his brothers, he lunged for Raph.

Raph saw his approach and avoided it with ease, sidestepping to the right and grabbing his brother from behind once again. For all his efforts, Leo found it increasingly difficult to break away, soon relenting and slumping to the ground.

"Why won't you just leave me alone? That's all I want. To be alone" said Leo exhaustedly, but it wasn't from the physical exertion, it was from the constant mental pressures over his recovery period, his family pushing him to heal at their pace and not his.

"You can't be alone Leo, that's the last thing that you need right now" Raph lowered to the ground and sat back on his haunches, his arms leaning on his knees as he plucked up a strand or two of grass, rolling it around in his fingers.

"How do you know what I need" Leo half whispered, but the statement alone made Raph look at him.

"You're my brother, you've been through a lot and we're all here to help…" Raph started but he was cut off sharply.

"Just because you're my brother, that doesn't mean you know me"

"I've lived with you for twenty years, I think that says something about how much I know you"

"You lived with _him_ for twenty years, not me. Leonardo died that day, you didn't rescue him like he thought you would, you left him to die and he did" Leo gritted his teeth as he spat his reply, taking delight in Raph's face changing into a more menacing grimace. After a moment Raph's expression softened considerably, he started to realise that his brother wasn't really to blame for his outbursts, that it was just an unfortunate side effect of his condition. Don had said that he was suffering from schizophrenia and that the outbursts, both physical and mental, were attributed to that. That word alone had been enough to scare everyone back into a sense of reality, no one truly believed that Leo was mad because it didn't fit his character, Leonardo the brave, fearless elder brother who would be there for them no matter the cost, his family are his life, he would die for them, he would die to protect them. Death before dishonour. But then the world came to an abrupt halt, the family rescued a brother and son moments before a killing blow could descend upon him, the guards not living much past that moment as rage filled Raphael's heart, the site of his brother kneeling powerless and unaware of the sword that aimed to severe his head meant that his brother was hurt badly. It would take a lot to make Leo just give up like that and he knew that the Foot and Shredder had done terrible things, the scars on his elder brothers body a sure sign of it, but he had to stay calm, he had to get them all to safety and he had to get Leo home. Days after the rescue and Leo was confined to his room, peace was shattered in the lair by the loud piercing screams of torment and hatred that followed from its closed door. No one managed to get much sleep because of it but no one could blame Leo for it either, his reaction simply a natural thing for someone who has suffered psychological and physical abuse for such a long period of time.

Raphael finally let Leo's words sink in, 'you didn't rescue him like he thought you would', he shivered at those words, a thought struck him, a picture becoming clearer in his head, a picture of his brother bound to a table as they tortured him for God knows what, Leo's screams reverberating through the building as Foot ninja laughed at the 'animal' and his brother secretly pleading within himself for his family, begging them to find him and stop his pain. Raphael he shook his head and let a tear run down his cheek as he moved forward and looked into Leo's eyes, he searched his brother's face for some kind of recognition, a ray of hope that there was a part of his brother inside this husk, he needed to know that Leo wasn't just running on autopilot, doing and saying things on command to satisfy his families concerns. Leo suddenly felt uncomfortable at the scrutiny and pushed himself up from the cool grass and moved towards the lake, looking out as the moon cast it's beautiful reflection on the water's almost mirror surface, only distorted as the breeze toyed with it. Leo stood with his arms straight at his sides, looking out into the growing darkness and drawing in the calming influence of the lake's serenity. Raphael stared at him, knowing his brother wouldn't talk anymore and still hurt by his words, he said that his brother was dead, Leo was dead and yet here he was, standing before him staring at the darkening scene ahead. Raphael suddenly realised that this was worse than death, a brother that was here and yet not, alive and yet strangely vacant from his body.

Leo could still feel his brothers gaze, those eyes were probing, searching for something, he was sick of being examined. His captors had examined him relentlessly, making sure that they never pushed too far with the torture, prolonging his agony that much further, then there were the days when Saki would simply sit and stare for hours on end, watching him in his prison, never saying a word, no smile on his face, no grimace, no expression at all. Just staring at him.

Without warning, Leo spun around and stormed away, Raph jumped up quickly to follow but slowed his pace when he realised that he was going back to the farmhouse, he watched him go inside and followed him in.

They were all there, Don with his laptop doing more research, a habit he picked up when the pressure of it all became too much for him and Splinter standing at the bottom of the stairs, indicating that Leo had gone that way. Mike went to follow but Raphael stopped him, "Leave him Mike, he wants to be alone"

"But…" he began.

"No don't, he's angry right now, just leave him" Raphael waved his hand and moved to the couch then slumped into it.

"What happened?" Mike moved over and sat down next to him.

"I found him trying to beat the crap out of a tree, he didn't like it when I stopped him. he would've smashed his hands up if I hadn't of been there" he said wearily.

Don looked up at that, "Is it bad? Should I take a look at him?"

"No, maybe tomorrow when he's cooled off a little. It isn't that bad" he replied.

They turned when they heard a door close quietly, Splinter left without saying a word.

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There, all done. I bet you all think I'm crazy now don't you. :) 


	2. Chapter 2

Another chapter, more Leo torture!

Reviews:

Buslady of SoCal; And I'm enjoying reading RFAF too! I really should leave a review, heh ; Thanks for the review:)

Sassyblondexoxo; Wow, you've really analysed this story! Yeah, they're definitely going to be a little out of wack and Leo's emotions are really flowing when I'm writing, I just put myself in his shoes and think what I would do in that situation. Thanks for the review:)

In The Clouds; Oh no! The puppy dog eyes! LOL. I've only just scratched the surface on this one, it's going to get worse before it gets better! Thanks for the review:)

Pacphys; A friend of mine said that this story seems to be written from a personal point of view, but knowing me as he does he knows that it's not true. Somehow, when I'm writing it, it feels like I'm the one going through it all! Thanks for the review:)

Reinbeauchaser; Yep, even I'm going to have to get a little tougher to write this one, Leo's experiences in this chapter did freak me out a little, I only hope that I wrote them well enough for everyone else to see what I was seeing! Thanks for the review:)

Spootycup; Wow, brilliant? Well, I still think I'm crazy! LOL. Thanks for the review:)

Darktiger2; Oh, I'm definitely going to continue this, it's a story that I've had in the works before I even decided to post my fics on the net! Thanks for the review:)

Rev; March hare? Hah! You know me too well! Thanks for the review:)

T; I think this chapter will answer both of your questions, feel free to email me if it doesn't! Thanks for the review:)

Digmon Girl; Another chapter, as requested! Thanks for the review:)

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Chapter 2

He ran and they followed, he couldn't risk going anywhere near his home for fear of them finding his family and he couldn't hold them off with no weapons, he could only flee and hope he can outrun them and hide somewhere until they lose interest in him, he side-stepped quickly around a dumpster that had moved from it's resting place by the wall and hurtled in his path, suddenly realising that it was deliberate. The Foot were all about him and he knew that there was little chance of him escaping but he persisted. The alley came to a halt as he noticed the wire fence blocking his escape, jumping quickly into the air he gasped and shrieked as something wrapped around his ankle, pulling him abruptly to the ground, his body tensed at the pain as his leg came close to dislocating, he landed face first onto the floor and rolled, lifting his arms to block a low kick aimed for his head, he tried to right himself but the ninja holding onto the chain connected to his ankle gave a swift yank to keep him floored. He grabbed at an ankle and pulled, taking a Foot ninja's feet out from beneath him, causing him to crash to the floor, he grabbed up his enemy's fallen sword and struck out at the ninja preventing him from standing but it was a wayward shot and he missed, earning himself another yank on the chain. He cried out as he felt his leg finally give out under the strain and grimaced at the sickly pop, the ninja about him whooped with joy at the animal as they realised that it was close to being defeated and they began to stomp on him, targeting the hand that carried the sword as well as his defenceless limbs, kicking at the tender, sensitive sides that he couldn't protect. He felt dizzy, his head spun and his vision began to blur, he noticed that his grip on the sword became weak and he tried to force his hand to tighten but it was a vain attempt and the sword left his grasp, the last thing that filled his vision before the darkness took him was the face of his enemy, the face of the Shredder.

'You failed you know'

"Shut up!"

'Oh the irony, the great leader, best in the game, daddy's favourite, reduced to a snivelling wreck in the hands of the enemy. Now that's funny' the voice laughed at him and Leo shuddered, it was just like every other day, that same voice only spoke to taunt him and mock him, just like The Shredder.

"I was outnumbered, there was no way that I could stop all of them and I couldn't outrun them, they were everywhere" Leo paced the small expanse of his bedroom, shaking his head, gently and repetitively tapping his chin with his closed fist. His vision was blurred with images of the first night, when Leo's hell had started. He ran through every possible outcome but every one was the same, either he died or he was captured. His pacing increased and his growled in anger as the voice continued.

'Excuses excuses'

"Shut UP! Go pick on someone else! Leave me alone!" Leo closed his eyes and clenched his fists, the voice just laughed at him and he felt the anger building up, he raised his fists to his head and began pounding, determined to stop them.

He felt hands gently touch his shoulders and cursed aloud, again he was interrupted and again someone interfered in something that doesn't involve them. Spinning quickly, he stared in amazement as Don slowly lowered his arms and gave a warm smile. He could never be angry with Don, Don wasn't a true fighter, he wasn't like _them_, he hated fighting, like Leo does, well, this Leo anyway. Leo felt all his tension drain slowly and his shoulders drooped, he turned away from Don and walked towards the bed, dropping onto it and sighing on the way down. Don followed him but didn't sit, instead he crouched in front of Leo and carefully reached towards his hands, knowing that Leo would withdraw them if he wanted them left alone. He didn't and Don picked them up gently, he studied the dry scabs that had covered the open wounds from the evening before and reached for the bowl of warm water that he had placed by Leo's bedside, he grinned when he noticed Leo's confusion, he obviously hadn't seen Don put it there. He squeezed the water from the washcloth and delicately wiped away the dried blood on Leo's hands, watching for any reaction that might give him reason to back away. Leo wouldn't attack his brothers to harm them, it was just the hallucinations and dreams that made him lash out sometimes, it caused his family to watch carefully for any signs of change.

Leo had attacked Casey once, mistaking him for Saki, or more appropriately, suffering a hallucination that had happened when April and Casey had come to visit. The apologies came thick and fast, everyone feeling guilty for letting Leo get that close and Casey himself had been stunned silent, he was okay and soon had to tell everyone to stop overreacting, he knew that Leo couldn't help it and he didn't blame him for being wary around humans. Soon enough, Leo would come around.

"So" Don began, startling Leo who seemed to be deep in thought, "Do you want some breakfast this morning? Mike wants to make pancakes but he's not going to unless you're there"

Leo's head tipped to one side and he stared at Don for a moment, "Is this your way of saying you want me to go?" he smiled when he realised that the voice had gone, it didn't like to talk when other people were around, it only liked to pester him when they were alone.

Don finished cleaning Leo's hands and was satisfied that they weren't infected, he wrapped them to keep them clean and provide a little padding in case Leo decided to continue what he was doing when he came in, it was likely at the moment. "Yes, I'd like you to come to breakfast. I don't like to see you up here on your own when we're down there eating" he answered finally.

Leo nodded and examined his hands, too much padding, he thought, they don't need that much, probably trying to soften the blows.

Leo smiled and at Don's command flexed his fingers to check that everything was satisfactory, with a nod Leo rose from the bed and watched as Don cleaned up after himself then stepped forward to help, his brother gratefully accepted it.

"Breakfast sounds good" said Leo softly

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Mike's smile beamed, he quickly hurried around the kitchen gathering the necessary ingredients for the pancakes, Raph chuckled in his seat at the table as he watched his excited younger brother, he couldn't blame him though, it wasn't often that Leo would even bother eating with them and he smiled at the thought that Leo was getting better. When the door opened Raph turned to see who it was, hoping that it was Splinter who had been missing since he left the night before. He knew that his father had taken it as a heavy blow that Leo had been hurt so badly this way, none of them expected to be injured like this and for Splinter it was more of a shock. If anything his hatred for the Shredder had been increased ten fold. When Raph noticed that it was Don and Leo, his smile remained but a small part of him was disappointed.

"Morning guys!" Mike replied cheerfully, glancing over his shoulder for a moment before focusing back on breakfast, "Take a seat, it'll be ready in a minute"

Don guided Leo to the chair opposite Raph and he sat down cautiously, something in his mind made him wary of his brother in red, then he thought back to yesterday evening… and the tree… looming over him, his brother scrutinising his every move, staring at him then Saki was staring at him.

Don took a seat next to Leo and chuckled as Mike moved frantically around the room, Raph kept watching Mike, his head turning to and fro to keep up with his brother's movements.

Leo didn't see this, instead he saw Raph staring at him, those eyes never breaking their gaze, ever forceful as they pushed into his head, probing at his very thoughts. Saki's eyes wearing the mask of his brother, his face expressionless and empty, Leo tried closing his eyes and turning away but when he looked back the scene remained. Raph… no… Saki was staring at him, oblivious to everything around him and focusing on one thing alone, Leo.

His breathing quickened and his heart began to pound, his knees felt weak and the room began to blur, only Saki remained in focus, a crystal clear image that felt like it was burning into the back of his eyes, an image that could never be erased. He pushed back against the chair as the panic pushed it's way to the surface and muttered, "no".

Don noticed his brother move and leaned forward, he could tell that the happy moment was coming to a end by the look on Leo's face, he noticed that his gaze was fixed on Raph and quietly called to him, when Raph turned he asked him to silently move from his seat to see if Leo was looking at him, when his stare remained on the vacated chair Don reached out and touched Leo's shoulder. He didn't move.

"Leo" he whispered, "Tell me what you see. What is it?"

Leo began to shudder, his voice taking on a child-like tone that scared Raph and Mike, the latter leaving the food and moving closer, "It's him Donny, he's looking at me, why won't he leave me alone?" his voice became soft and delicate like a child frightened of the dark, begging their mother to leave a light on.

"He won't leave you alone until you tell him, tell him now Leo, make him go away" Don stared at Leo's hallucination, imagining Saki sitting there and staring, he was almost afraid to admit that with Leo's reaction and his own mental picture of Saki staring that he too couldn't help but feel slightly unsettled. Leo's apparition sat on the far side of the table, too close for comfort and Don was surprised that Leo hadn't pinned himself to the far wall and as far away from his monster as possible. They had grown accustom to seeing Leo's fears more and more now, with all of the barriers that Saki had somehow managed to break down, their brother displayed his emotions freely. It wasn't something that they could deal with, Raph had the worst time with it and vowed to kill Saki for all that he had done to Leo. Splinter had forbid him of course, telling them all that there was a time for revenge and Leo had every right to be there when that time came. Raph had agreed grudgingly and that was enough for Splinter.

"Leave me alone" There was no conviction in Leo's voice and Don shook his head slightly.

"No Leo. Tell him, make him believe you" Don rested his hand onto Leo's arm, "You're not alone now, tell that bastard to leave you alone"

Leo's face tightened and he glared at the figment, "Leave me alone Saki, _leave me the hell alone!_" his hands shook furiously at his sides, his fright was replaced by anger and he leaned forward, staring at Saki, his face soon relaxed and he leaned back in his chair again, heaving a huge sigh of relief. Don smiled, that didn't take as long as it normally did, he thought. Leo took shuddered breaths and looked at Don, tears brimmed in his eyes and several escaped and trailed down his cheeks, "I'm so sorry" he whimpered.

Don touched his hand to Leo's cheek, rubbing away at some of the stray tears, "You have nothing to be sorry for" he whispered.

"It ain't your fault Leo" Raph added, moving towards the wall and leaning against it, his anger welled up again as Leo's display made him despise Saki even more and he focused on the cracked tiled floor, finding it's pattern strangely calming.

Don nodded at Mike and mouthed 'pancakes' causing Mike to nod in understanding, "How 'bout I get those pancakes going, huh Leo?"

Leo sniffed and rubbed his arm across his eyes before leaning back and resting his head on the top of the chair, "Yeah"

"Pancakes coming right up"

The tension in the room was sky high and each brother felt drained, Mike really didn't know how to take Leo anymore, he always saw his eldest brother as the link in their family chain, the brother who could fight off the demons that threatened their lives, the armour that protected the tender flesh inside. He found it difficult when Leo suffered his first attack, the child-like fright that he displayed made him wonder how much of this side the enemy or more precisely Saki, had seen. Did Leo react this way in that hellhole? Had Saki gloried in his conquest of his brother? He couldn't think like that, he didn't want to depress himself further.

When the pancakes were done he offered them to Leo first, smiling when his brother took two, this small signal encouraged his brothers to take from the pile.

* * *

Splinter watched his sons through the kitchen window, he sighed as Leo suffered another hallucination, he watched as Don gently eased him through it, he felt more than saw Raph's anger and Mike's despair, then he saw something that lifted his heart, the first sign that his family were beginning to mend.

But most importantly, he felt regret that he wasn't there for them, his own emotions kept getting in the way suddenly making him very selfish. He should be in there with them, eating with them but he couldn't, he felt like a failure. He'd failed his son.

* * *

AN: Okay, this chapter freaked me out a little bit, I have no idea where this is coming from 


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: Don't own 'em, I'd love to though, there's so much I could do with Leo…hmm…

A/N: Okay, firstly apologies for the long delay, partly due to WB partly due to needing a break from writing for a little bit. Hope you guys don't mind?

Anyways, as always, this comes with a warning. Leo goes through a hell of a lot this chapter.

Reviews:

Sassyblondexoxo: Heh, I always love getting reviews from you, they're so detailed! Yeah, I think I have trouble with sentencing all the time, my hubby doesn't like reading… well, anything, so I can't rely on him as a beta reader! I pretty much write and read over it. I miss things because I don't see them, hope this is a little better! By the way, how's Plague coming along? ;) Thanks for the review:)

Rev: You know we were talking today and I said I didn't feel that I was in the writing mood? Well… Straight home from work, four hours later and one chapter written! I'm so darn unpredictable sometimes! Thanks for the review:)

Spootycup: Thanks for the email, sorry I hadn't replied, I took a little time out and abandoned everything for a while, I think Recovery is having an affect on me! Thanks for the review:)

Pacphys: I don't mean to tease, honest! Yep, I have plans for Splinter. I just can't give anything away for that, let's just say that I have two endings for this story and depending on reaction, it will decide the outcome. Of the two endings I have, the leading one at the moment isn't pretty. Thanks for pointing out my errors; I don't see them after writing it all out so some slip through the net! Thanks for the review:)

Digmon Girl: Well here's a little taster of what Saki did, not too much though, I don't want to give too much away! Thanks for the review:)

T (Pi90katana): Well you wanted more Mike in the next chapter and you've got it! But you might not like it! I'm looking for shock factor here! Let me know if it worked! ;) Thanks for the review:)

Lioness-Goddess: Heh, I was a little pushy there wasn't I? I hope you don't hate me for what happens this chapter! Being a Mike fan and all. It's only a story though, right? Heh, yeah. Anyways, thanks for the review:)

Rizzle: A plot dragon? Hmm, maybe. I'm going for a lot of emotion with this story, with a finale that could go with a bang; I just hope I don't go messing it up. Thanks for the review:)

In The Clouds: LOL, you always say update soon! You should know by now that that would never happen with me! I'm the slowest there is! This chapter is a little more distressing I think, well at least the ending is anyway. Thanks for the review:)

Chapter 3.

_The collar chafed his neck, his hands tied and his body worn, he was too tired to move but they forced him, dragging him along by the chain attached to the animalistic collar that cut painfully into his flesh, drawing blood. They poked at him with their blades, leaving fresh wounds to join older ones, as they pulled him along the corridor to his next torture session. Saki had insisted that he be treated like the animal that he was, always taunting him that if he had joined him then this wouldn't be happening to him, the offer still stands._

_As they pushed him into the dull empty room he noticed the table, he showed no fear when he first saw it even though he was scared to death of it but now he did, his eyes widened and he resisted his captors as best he could, moving violently against the many men that circled him, pushing and shoving at them. There were too many of them, Saki made sure of that, he didn't want his prize getting away and keeping him guarded with as many as eight ninja was enough to keep him under control. A final push and he fell to his knees, grunting upon impact and sighing at the futility of it all, there really was no escape and Leo knew it. Where was his family? Why hadn't they come for him? He needed them, he wanted so much to be with them and he started to panic at the thought that they would never meet again before his death came. He was pulled from his thoughts by a gentle hand cupping his chin and raising his head._

"_Leonardo" Saki said sympathetically, a small frown of concern crossing his features, "Why do you continue to allow this suffering? I can make this pain stop in the blink of an eye and yet you will not let me, let me help you"_

_Leo glared at him, his resolve still strong after what he perceived to be a month in captivity, he drew in a deep breath and his body stiffened, "Go. To. Hell" his voice was calm and quiet but Saki didn't miss the hatred in the tone. Leo thought that that would be the end of it, with the offer of help turned down he prepared himself for the torture to come, but it didn't. Saki stood and gently eased Leo to his feet, signalling with a nod that his men should back away. A shudder surged through Leo's body, his uneasiness merged with his disgust at his hated enemy's touch, with his hands bound he had little movement but enough to tell Saki that he didn't like the contact between them. Saki half chuckled as he moved to the side and draped his arm around Leo's shoulders, urging him into the room further, Leo moved with him, becoming confused at Saki's change in demeanour and curious at his gentle touch. What did he want? Why was he treating him like this? Leo watched the table move out of his line of site and a sigh escaped him without warning, Saki noticed and his smile went unnoticed, his hopes for this freak suddenly sparked into life once again._

"_Take a seat Leonardo" Saki gestured with his hand to a small soft armchair that Leo recognised as the same that Saki had usually inhabited when Leo was undergoing his 'treatments', he sat down and enjoyed the comfort it gave to his aching body. Saki knelt at his side and reached for Leo's wrists, loosening and removing his bonds but leaving the collar around his neck, the chain rested against his plastron and ended on his lap. When his restraints dropped to the cold concrete floor he contemplated making his escape, planning how it would be done but a quick glance at Saki told him that he wouldn't even make it to the door. Leo didn't want to die this way, there was no honour in a death like this, he wanted to die in battle, whether alone or with his brothers, he needed to die with honour._

_Saki offered a cup to him, the smell filling his nostrils with a glorious odour, the green tea was a particular favourite of his and Saki knew that somehow. Leo eyed it suspiciously and turned his head away when it was pushed closer to his lips, he half expected a rough hand to pull his head about and force it down his throat but when Saki gently cupped his chin once again he allowed his head to be turned back. Saki sipped from the cup and then offered it back to Leo, "It isn't poisoned or drugged in any way, it is merely tea. I don't want to kill you Leonardo, only if you give me cause to. Drink"_

_Leo subtly sniffed the contents of the cup before allowing it to be raised to his lips, when the sweet taste hit, he willingly took the cup from Saki and drank the tea greedily. Saki smiled affectionately and reached out, taking Leo's left wrist in his hands. He signalled for one of the white - coated men to come closer and Leo tensed, fearing that this was all a game and that now he had been sufficiently tamed, the torture would begin, but Saki's grip loosened, "There is nothing to fear, I simply want these wounds tended to", Leo had no idea at this point what to think, what game was Saki playing?_

_The white - coated man came closer and he reached for Leo's wrists, another man approached and proffered the other with some cleaning materials, he cleaned Leo's wounds and returned to the table, there he waited._

_Leo examined his newly dressed wrists, "Why are you doing this Saki? Are you softening me up ready for more torture?" There was little spite in his voice and he cursed himself silently for the mistake, Saki saw his resolve beginning to sway._

"_The torture can stop Leonardo"_

"_Only if I join you, I suppose"_

"_Would that be such a sin? I have much to offer you, much you could offer me in return. I care about what happens to you, I don't want to see you suffer needlessly"_

_Leo shook his head, "All lies. You've hated us since our first meeting, you've wanted us 'exterminated' from the very beginning…"_

"_No, I was misguided. I didn't truly understand who or what you were then, now I know exactly what you are, what is important to you"_

"_You know nothing about me, or my family"_

"_You believe that? I know you cherish your honour; it is the most important thing to you after your family. I know that you are a brave person, someone willing to sacrifice their life in a heartbeat for those that prove themselves worthy of saving. I know that you follow and respect the way of the samurai, as do I. And I know that you consider Sun Tsu's 'The Art of War' to be your…'bible', for want of a better word"_

_That made Leo blink, Saki noticed._

"_You seem surprised? _

"_I will not join you Saki. I could never betray my family…"_

"_The same family that has yet to come for you? Tell me Leonardo, surely they should have made themselves known by now, this place is not difficult to find. In fact, I sent them a message, informing them of your location and of your well being, they have yet to respond"_

"_You're lying Saki! They'll come for me, that's if I don't get out first!"_

"_And I'm sure you'll try." Saki lowered his head and breathed out a sigh, as if to compose himself, then looked back into his prisoner's eyes, "Leonardo, there is something that you should know. I was unwilling to show you this at first but now I believe that I have no choice" A ninja approached and lowered a small length of fabric onto Leo's knees, he instantly recognised it and took it into his hands. There was blood covering one side of the torn bandana and one of the eye slits was ripped to the edge of the material, a knife had caused the damage. Leo's eyes instantly watered and a single tear managed to escape; soon many followed it. Saki rested a hand onto Leo's shoulder and spoke quietly and gently._

"_Your family have left the city to mourn for the loss of Michelangelo, he died by the hands of a street thug brandishing a knife, his brow was slashed and he fell, the criminal stabbed him twelve times before help arrived. By then it was too late. I'm sorry"_

"_Stop this…please…stop" Leo was whimpering, no longer concerned with the emotion he was showing, his thoughts were filled with a vision of his baby brother being brutally murdered, he could hear his brother's screams as the knife plunged into him again and again, his arms flailing in the air, fighting to stay alive before slowly dropping to the ground when the life gave way. _

_His hands wrapped around his head and he rocked back and forth in the chair, refusing to believe Saki's lies but seeing the images so clearly in his head, he felt arms wrap around him and heard quiet comforting words being spoken so that only he could hear them, Saki was comforting him. He suddenly felt dirty, pushing Saki away and retreating as far back into the chair as possible he swore with venom at the lying monster before him. His words must have made an impact for he was pulled from the chair by the chain around his neck and wrenched to the ground, his legs wouldn't move and he was dragged along the ground to the waiting table. The white - coated man stood ready with the syringe, tapping it to draw the bubbles to the surface before letting them expel with a small push of the plunger. Leo wrestled against the collar and found blows raining down upon him then he was hauled onto the table, arms and legs quickly fastened. The needle pushed in his arm and it instantly burned as the fluid was emptied from the syringe. He convulsed on the tabletop, his head slamming on its clean surface, his cries filling the room._

Leo screamed.

Mike looked skyward when the scream pierced the whole farmhouse, he flew from the couch and headed towards the stairs, he heaved himself up and turned the corner quickly, stopping at the top when he noticed Raphael leaning against the wall, his head wearily drooped back, he made no attempt to look in Mike's direction as he pushed away and walked calmly towards the stairs and out of view. Mike spared a single huff and moved on, continuing his journey to his brother's room. Without hesitation he pushed open the door to find Leo cowering in the corner, rocking back and forth, the bed covers were half off of the bed and lying across the floor, as if snaking their way towards his unsuspecting brother. He moved in quickly and took Leo by the arms, a little too harshly but still soft enough not to hurt, Leo looked up and his eyes widened, fear so evident that Mike's heart could almost melt.

"Leo its okay, it was just a nightmare, you're okay now" Mike pulled his brother into a hug and was surprised when Leo pushed him away, he watched in horror as his elder brother tried to crush himself against the wall, trying to put so much distance between them. Anger sparked in Mike's eyes and Leo's own eyes widened further, he'd seen that look before and pain usually followed soon after.

"No… please…don't hurt me, don't… I don't want to hurt anymore…" Leo pulled his arms up and hid his face, shuddering in shear terror and Mike fell back in shock, he slumped to the floor as he felt his energy drain from him, hate bubbled to the surface and his fists clenched, his brother cowered in front of him and after all this time he felt that things were finally going well, now this happened. He stood quickly and loomed over Leo, arms shaking with tension.

"Damn it Leo! Snap out of it! You've made so much progress don't you damn well relapse on me now! Do you hear me?", he reached down and pulled Leo up by his shoulders and he started to shake him, hoping to rattle some sense into him. His anger surged through him, hatred for Saki's torture of his brother, anger for his family's quietness, Splinter's sudden disappearing act, Raphael's lack of emotion and Don's gentle and non – forceful ways of helping Leo get better were simply taking too long. Then there was Leo, his big brother, someone he looked up to, someone he admired, someone he always wanted to be but never had the determination and strength to do it, that someone who had turned into the snivelling wreck that stood before him, whimpering like a child.

He slapped him.

And instantly regretted it, but not before powerful hands grabbed him and spun him around, a fist hitting him on the left side of his face sending him sprawling onto the floor. He watched Leo scramble away and retreat to his corner once again and groaned when the fear in his face intensified, then those powerful hands returned and hauled him to his feet, pushing him towards the door and throwing him hard enough that the corridor wall the other side hurt on impact. He slumped to the floor and watched as Raphael left Leo cowering on the floor, closing the door behind him and standing menacingly in front of him, he said nothing and he didn't need to.

Mike shook his head and let the tears fall freely, his body beginning to shudder with the sobbing. Raphael still didn't move, no attempts to comfort either brother in their current states, Mike looked up at the expressionless eyes and whispered, "What's happening to us? What's happening to our family, Raph?"

Raphael walked away.


	4. Chapter 4

AN: I'm on a roll! I think it's the reviews that are inspiring me! You guys are great, you know that! Thank you:)

Reviews:

**Sassyblondexoxo**: I'm glad I was able to shock you with Mike's reaction, I'm also glad that you could see why he did it. The hardest part for me was showing the reason behind it, but you noticed so I must have got it right! I agree that Leo's suffering shows just how strong he is, it isn't easy to write just what he went through, it makes me sad to visualise and write it! I feel for him and I'm the one making him suffer! I have an ending in mind for this, a sad one and I hope I can pull off the emotion as well as I did with chapter 3! Thanks for the review:)

**Reinbeauchaser**: Firstly, I'm so glad you reviewed! It means a lot to me! After all, you were my very first reviewer ever! It's nice to know that my fics are still up to scratch! Leo's psychosis is something that I've worked hard at to make sure that its right, its not one of the easiest things to do and I think this story has had an effect on me. All doom and gloom is not making Gemma a happy bunny. LOL. The torture aspects are difficult to write, physical isn't the problem but getting into someone's head and messing that up, now that is hard. Thank you for the reviews:)

**Pacphys**: Heh, I'm glad I was able to shock you like that! Don't let this chapter fool you, there's much more tension to come! This chapter is a little Don orientated so I hope you enjoy it! Thanks for the review:)

**Spootycup**: Will it get better? Well you know I can't answer that, you'll just have to wait and see. Although, I can say that it might not be a happy ending, I haven't decided yet! Thanks for the review:)

**Pi90katana**: Wow, I made you cry? Really? Heh, sorry about that! Do you want a tissue? I think you'll need it with the way this is going! I think because this story is so dark, it's difficult to write Mike, he's the happy, fun-loving type. Thanks for the review:)

**Rev**: Heh, we've already talked about this so you should know what I think! Thanks for the review:)

**Digmon Girl**: As requested, another chapter! Thanks for the review:)

**Hazlov2004**: I noticed your post at The Brawl! Thanks for reviewing here too:)

Thank you guys! Now on with the show!

* * *

Chapter 4

"Don't hurt me… please…Saki, no more… please… Mike, don't… hit me…no…"

Don closed the door to Leo's room quietly after giving him some herbal tea to ease him back into sleep, he took one last glance at his brother's sleeping form and shook his head, letting out a long, tired sigh. Walking quietly along the corridor, he contemplated the damage that had been inflicted and how both he and his family were going to repair it. He clenched his fists at the situation, after all this time, all the effort that everyone had put in to helping Leo pull through this, he started to think that maybe it was all futile. Maybe Leo wasn't going to get better, maybe he was destined to stay this way and no amount of effort on his part would help. Maybe they shouldn't stop him the next time he tries to kill himself. Maybe…

"He okay?" Don looked up from the floor and noticed Raph standing at the top of the stairs, he looked so tired that Don couldn't help but frown. He was angry with both of his younger brothers for making things worse.

"What do you think?" he spat sharply; "He's having nightmares about his own brothers hurting him as well as Saki" he threw his arms in the air and let them slap against the side of his thighs. "Dammit, Raph! We don't need this right now!"

"Hey, hey come on. Calm down will ya?" Raph moved forward and draped his arms around Don, pulling him into an embrace, Don resisted for a moment before slumping against him, "We'll deal with this, okay? We'll figure it out."

Don pulled back quickly and turned away, his form stiffened and Raph knew that he was in for a lecture, "What were you thinking, Raph? Its bad enough that Mike slapped him but what you did made things even worse! After all of the violence that Leo's suffered, everything they put him through, you had to show him more of it!"

"Hey, its who I am! I can't change…"

"Shut up!"

"Don…"

"No, Raph! You listen to me and you listen good. I don't want either you or Mike near him, you stay away until I say otherwise, do you understand me?"

Raph stepped back with shock, his face wide-eyed and disbelieving, "Don, you can't be serious about this"

Don glared at him, "I'm deadly serious! I doubt very much that Leo will want you near him anyway with what you did. He can't handle it! My God, Raph, I don't even know if we can fix this!"

The fight left him as quickly as it came and he lent against the wall, his forehead resting on his arm, "We're fighting a loosing battle" he whispered.

Raph bristled, "Don't you dare say that! Leo's a fighter! He'll beat this!"

Don turned once again, his voice still sombre, "He _was_ a fighter, Raph. He's lost interest…"

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"Are you so blind? Don't you see that he's given up? He doesn't care anymore and even if he did make some kind of recovery, he'll never be the same, the damage has been done and there's no turning back from that. He doesn't want to live anymore and why should we stop him…"

Raph pinned him to the wall, his fingers digging into Don's shoulders, "Leo ain't gonna kill himself! I won't let that happen, no fucking way! I can't believe you, Don…"

Don pushed back, he glared at Raph before heading to the stairs, "Just stay away from him"

Then he was gone.

Raph contemplated following after him but the sound of a door opening behind him made him turn, Mike stood at his open bedroom door, leaning on the frame for support. He looked drained and his eyes reflected Raph's, he moved forward wearily, still unsure at how his brother would take to him after the night's events. Saying nothing, he waited for Raph to speak.

"You heard that?"

"Yeah, I really messed things up, huh?"

Sensing his brother's pain and regret, Raph wrapped his arm around Mike's shoulders, "Let's take a walk"

* * *

Splinter broke from his meditation on the hillside and stared down at the farmhouse, it was so small from this distance with the forest around it creating a protective barrier that towered above their temporary home. He let out a sigh when his son approached, "Hello Donatello"

Even though he was angry with his absent father, he couldn't ignore his polite introduction, "Hello, Sensei"

"Why are you not at the farmhouse with your brothers?" he stood slowly and brushed a hand over his robe, removing the creases that had formed during his seated position

"Why aren't you there?" Don shot back quickly, he was still angry from his confrontation with Raph that he couldn't hide his frustration at his father. He wasn't planning on staying long here, Leo would need him soon and his imposed ban on Raph and Mike meant that he was the only one who could help Leo if the need arose. He thought that he would at least try to make Splinter come back with him, after all, he'd been away from the farmhouse for so long that he must be famished, although he knew his father and sensei could survive in the woods with nature's own supplies. It was becoming harder by the moment to hold the family together.

"I cannot return yet."

"Why the hell not?"

Splinter gave Don a disapproving look for his use of profanity but quickly dropped his gaze when he realised that he was in no position to argue. He knew what he should be doing, he should be with his sons, helping them all, helping Leonardo, but he couldn't.

"I simply cannot" he replied regretfully.

"Do you have any idea as to what's going on down there?" Don waved his hand towards the farmhouse, "We're falling apart!"

Splinter's head dropped, "I know" he whispered.

"And you still won't come back?" now Don's voice had lost its strength, he was growing tired.

"You see as I see, Donatello yet you accept it, whereas I cannot. You are truly braver than I"

"At least I'm fighting it! You can't even look at him! How do you think that makes him feel? He needs you, dammit! We all need you." His voice grew weak again and Splinter barely heard the last part.

"I'm sorry"

"So am I"

Don walked away, leaving his father staring at his retreating form.

* * *

Leo crept along the hallway, his steps quiet and carefully planned. His vision was blurred with tears and a sound ahead of him caused him to duck into the open doorway on his left, he waited for the Foot soldier to walk past. Once clear he continued on and silently descended the stairs heading straight for the door at the back that led to the outside. To freedom.

The grass was beautiful and soft against his feet, the scent of flowers causing him to smile, freedom felt good. A sound to his right caused him to turn and stiffen in fright, they couldn't have found him so quickly but there they stood, he couldn't be caught, there was no way that he was going to let them take him back. He wouldn't be taken alive!

Two Foot ninja stood staring at him, one carrying a pair of sai, the other carrying a pair of chucks. He stepped back and shook his head, eyes wide, they can't take him, oh please God don't let them. He turned and ran and heard them call out, screaming at him to stop. He wasn't going to stop.

He ran for what seemed like hours but in reality it had been only minutes, as he glanced back he didn't see the figure in front of him and they slammed into each other both dropping to the floor in a heap. Leo looked up and stared into his brother's eyes, Don stared back, his shocked expression telling Leo that he hadn't seen the same thing. Leo grabbed his brother by the shoulders and tried to pull him forward, trying to force him to get up and run.

"Leo! What's wrong? What's going on?" Don grabbed Leo and held him fast, stopping him from moving further away. His head turned at the sound of rustling and he noticed Raph and Mike coming through the opening in the foliage that Leo had come through only moments ago.

Leo just pointed a shaky finger in their direction. Don glared at them, thinking they had done something to upset Leo, "What have you done?"

Raph raised his hands in defence, "Whoa, hold up Don. We didn't do anything, he took one look at us and then he ran. That's all, okay?"

"Well you better go because you're obviously upsetting him. Leave him with me"

Shrugging once, Raph let out a sigh and walked away. Mike resisted, "Don…"

"Go Mike, please" Don sighed.

"No, I… I can't. Don, I need to talk to him, I need to apologise" Mike stepped forward and Leo recoiled, pushing himself as far as possible into his brother's grip.

"Now's not a good time, Mike. Maybe later, huh?" said Don as he struggled to keep Leo still.

Mike sagged and relented, following slowly after Raph. Don sighed and tightened his grip on his upset brother, rocking him gently whilst whispering comforting words.

"Its okay Leo, they're gone now. There's no one here but us, it's going to be okay"

"The Foot… they've gone?" Leo mumbled into Don's chest, afraid to look up.

"The Foot? You thought…oh man, Leo it was…yeah, they've gone" Don contemplated revealing that it was only Raph and Mike but decided against it, there was a time and place for that and whilst Leo was like this there were more important things to deal with.

"Talk to me, Leo. Let me help you through this"

Leo's shaking increased and he began to sob, "Please don't make me. I don't want to."

"You need to bro, this is important. You want to get better don't you?"

"Yes."

"Well, you need to talk to me. Do you think you can do that?" Don shifted on the ground to make himself more comfortable and pulled Leo up next to him, leaving an arm draped over his shoulder and brushing away some dried leaves from both his and Leo's legs. Leo rested his head against Don's shoulder and closed his eyes, drawing in from Don's calming influence and feeling the serenity of the trees around him.

"There's so much to talk about. So much happened to me that I can't bare to think back, I don't want to relive it."

"You need to relive it, it'll help you much more than you know. But I don't want you to think that you're on your own here, I'm with you. Take me back there with you, let me be there your anchor. If you start to feel… overwhelmed, I'll be there, right by your side. Just focus on that." Don gave Leo's shoulder a small squeeze and Leo smiled in return. They sat in silence for sometime before Leo spoke.

"They gave me electric shock treatment, you know," he said, almost casually. Don looked up from his steady scrutiny of the grass in front of him, no surprise on his face but his hand gripped Leo's soothingly. Leo didn't expect him to be shocked by that news, after all Don had been the one to examine him when they brought him back. He was well aware of the torture that was inflicted upon him.

"I was hanging by my wrists…"

_"Pain is a fascinating thing, Leonardo. And I must say that I'm impressed with just how much of it you can take. You are indeed a fine specimen, a shame that it has come to this. If only you would accept my offer." Saki circled Leo, like an animal circling it's prey. Leo hung limply from the chains around his wrists, the blood trickling down the length of his arms and continuing its descent. The sewer water that rained down from the purposefully broken pipe above his head made the cuts sting, but it was a small pain in comparison to what he has suffered so far._

_Saki prodded Leo with his blades, never once cutting flesh but still, it made Leo jump with every touch, his smile was sickening and Leo wanted to rip it clean off. He backed away and motioned for his ninja to step forward, giving Leo a clear view of the treatment he was about to receive. The generator was wheeled closer and the cables were connected where necessary. Leo shuddered and he couldn't help but allow his eyes to go wide. Saki smiled with the satisfaction he felt running through him, he didn't like to show the emotion but with the plans he had for his prisoner he decided that he had every right to let some of it to show, it made Leonardo nervous._

_Leo twisted and yanked at the chains but with his feet far from the ground, he knew he had no way of escaping the coming punishment. The chains that wrapped around his ankles were touching the ground below and Leo groaned. He prayed that this wouldn't last long and steeled himself._

_He barely felt the sponge touch his sensitive side as the electricity courses through his body, shuddering violently and under complete control of this unbiased killer. His eyes are shut tight and every muscle in his body defies his own demands, it feels like a lifetime has gone past and the sponge is withdrawn. His body relaxes of it's own accord and the muscles throb with the forced exertion, he sighs and pushed his head up to stare Saki in the face._

_"Now that was fun. I think I need to see that again." Saki crossed his arms and leaned back against the wall, the ninja took the indirect order and moved forward._

_Leo shook his head weakly, his body already drained from only one exposure to today's torture and he didn't want anymore. Saki stopped the ninja just before the sponge touched._

_"Is there something that you want, Leonardo? Do you want this to stop?" Saki waited, wondering if Leo would actually beg for this to end._

_"I'm not giving you the satisfaction. You can go to hell!" Leo replied, lifting his head and looking down at Saki._

_With a nod, it continued._

"Four hours later and still I hung there, Saki sent his men away and then just took a seat, he never said anything, he just watched me. Another two hours later and I was dragged back to the white room. I couldn't touch the water that was left for me, I couldn't even look at it. I was so thirsty and yet I really thought that if I touched the water, I'd be in pain. I didn't drink for a week and after that, they forced me, they didn't want me to die." Leo fell quiet and rested his head against Don's plastron. He felt his brother's arm tighten around him and was grateful for it, pushing further in to the embrace.

"I'm sorry, Leo" Don whispered and Leo looked up to see tears spilling silently down Don's face, he shifted and wrapped his arms around him, Don copying his movements. They sat there, holding each other tight.


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I don't own any of them, as much as I would love to. They belong to the talented Eastman and Laird.

* * *

Chapter 5. 

Don gently pushed Leo into the kitchen with a smile when his older brother glanced over his shoulder and Leo's expression confirmed the feelings that Don was picking up from him, he was nervous and there was a hint of fear, he knew that Leo had mistaken Raph and Mike as Foot ninja and was weary that he may still see that, but he hoped that it was just a memory come to life. Leo knew that Don was upset with his revelations at a small part of his time spent with Saki and he'd given his brother a shoulder to cry on. It wasn't just Leo's recollection that had played a part in Don's reaction, there was more to it. Don had been working long and hard at trying to mend the broken family and it had all finally come to the surface, he apologised to his ailing brother, telling him that he shouldn't be unloading more stress onto him, that it wasn't Leo's responsibility anymore. Leo had smiled at that and told Don that it felt good to be relied on, if only for a brief moment, although it wasn't something that he wanted back. Even he had to admit that it wouldn't help him in his efforts to return to anything resembling normal again.

Don guided him to the table and gestured for him to take a seat, he did so and watched as Don made himself busy by making them both something to drink. He returned to the table with two cups of hot tea and Leo thanked him with a smile, sipping cautiously to prevent scolding his lips. Don wasn't as cautious, he yelped and dropped the cup, his hand covering his mouth as he grimaced. Leo stood quickly and reached for his brother but Don waved him away, reluctantly Leo turned and began to clean away the broken pieces of the cup and it's hot contents. Don moved towards the sink to tend to his burnt lips, his hands began to shake and he held back the urge to slam his hands down onto the sink in frustration. How could he be so stupid?

The kitchen door creaked open slightly and a concerned Mike gazed in, Don's eyes went wide and he looked at Leo, expecting him to see the Foot ninja from earlier. Mike too became concerned, although he thought that Leo was afraid of him for his reactions in his room last night, he still heard the crash as the cup shattered and wanted to make sure that everything was okay. The room fell silent as the three occupants gazed at each other, no one moving.

The silence was deafening, Mike wanted to speak but the words wouldn't form, he didn't know where to start. He had been remorseful from the moment his hand had touched Leo's cheek in the harsh way that it did. He felt the pain and knew that Leo was still in a dreamlike state at the time, but his guilt still didn't justify what he had done. He gulped nervously and was half tempted to turn and walk away but he knew that both he and Leo needed to face this and now, regardless of Don's orders to keep his distance.

Don watched his brothers wearily, his body tense and ready in case Leo decided that he didn't want to be here, in case he decided to run. Mike's actions were caused by his anger, his inability to accept that Leo just wasn't Leo anymore. He did the only thing that came to him at the moment and that was to try and make Leo see sense, he didn't understand that these things take time, a lot of time. But Mike's guilt was eating away at him and Don knew that, he couldn't let that happen, he didn't want to see another brother suffer. He stayed silent, allowing his brothers to make their own moves. When Leo's shoulders slumped and he leant on the back of the chair for support, his head dropping to rest on his chest, Don thought that he was going to collapse to the floor.

'So he's back to hit you again.' The voice was mocking, the same voice that tried to halt the healing process so many times before.

"I'm not listening to you, not now." Leo hissed, not caring if his brothers heard him and thought him even crazier.

'Oh so now you've grown some back bone, huh?' the voice spat.

"Mike won't hit me. It was a mistake, can't you see that he's sorry?" Leo whispered harshly. Mike's eyes widened and he looked to Don, his intellectual brother gestured for him to come into the room completely and Mike moved towards him, he had never seen this aspect to Leo before and it frightened him but Don's arm around his shoulder and a whispered 'it's okay' gave a little relief. Don had seen this side of Leo on many occasions, he had grown used to it but it still bothered him, the first time was the worst. 

'He's sorry? You really think that? Do you wanna know what I think? I think he's just doing that to get closer to you, so he can hit you harder this time.'

"No!" Leo slammed his fist down onto the backrest of the chair, Mike jumped at the outburst and Don squeezed his shoulder.

"It's a normal reaction, Mike. A symptom of schizophrenia, it'll pass." Don soothed but Mike wasn't relieved anymore than before.

"How can you just accept what he's doing? He's talking to himself, that's…it's scaring me." Mike shook slightly and Don tightened his grip, he knew how frightening it was.

"The first time I saw him like this, I was just as shocked as you are right now. It hasn't gotten any easier since, but I've grown used to it, don't ask me how."

"I remember that. You came from Leo's room and you looked pale and… and frightened. Is this what it was like?"

"No, it was worse."

_"Leo, it's okay, everything's going to be okay." Don's hands were held out submissively as he tried to coax his brother from the darkened corner of his room._

"_Of course he doesn't understand, he wasn't there was he?" Leo bellowed to no one. Don watched him as he shuddered and his hands flew frantically for no reason._

"_No! I don't!" Leo screamed, "I don't care what you think!"_

"_Saki, Saki, Saki, that's all that you've got to say? I'm not a coward! I'm not! I…I am…Don't do this…Leave me alone!" Leo's screams steadily faded, his voice loosing it's strength, his words now pleading._

"_I don't want to…don't call me that! I…please, just leave me alone…"_

_Don couldn't take it anymore, he moved towards his brother and knelt at his side, taking him into his arms. Leo didn't protest as he continued his begging._

"_It hurt…I'm not…why are you tormenting me? Don't…"_

_The hopelessness washed over him and he knew then that Leo was different, he had changed and that scared Don, he'd never seen Leo like this before. Emotion overwhelmed him, he tried to stay strong knowing that Leo needed to feel that strength, but right now he wanted to run, to flee this burden and let someone else deal with it, instead he stayed…and cried._

"I'm not listening to you anymore!" Leo spun around as if he was turning his back on the voice, his posture strengthened and for a brief moment his brothers saw something in Leo that they hadn't seen in such a long time, the determined, strong leader they were fighting hard to bring back to life. He turned to face his brothers and gave them an apologetic smile, Don returned the gesture and gently pushed Mike forward knowing that this was important, that they needed this moment. His younger brother resisted, not wanting to approach Leo just yet, fearing that he might not be welcome but Leo moved towards him albeit slightly weary.

"Leo, I… Are you okay?" Mike asked nervously, his steps slow and juddering.

"Yes." Leo replied, he reached for Mike and apprehensively touched his shoulder, "Are you okay?"

Mike nodded happily, "Yeah, I'm fine… Leo, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I don't know why I did it… I…" Mike began to ramble, words rolling like waves filled with meaning from his mouth, Leo started to chuckle, finding humour in Mike's nervous habit, before gently pulling him into an embrace, Mike reached around him, he couldn't describe how grateful he felt at Leo's silent forgiveness and he breathed a sigh of relief at Leo's tightening hold.

After a moment they separated and Leo rubbed at his eyes, the tiredness of the day's events finally taking their toll, he yawned causing Don to copy him wincing slightly at his tender lips, he was exhausted too, "I think we could all do with some rest," he said softly, "and I need to do something about my lips, they're killing me."

Mike had only just noticed that Don's lips were reddened and he smiled, this wasn't the first time that Don had scalded his lips on a hot cup, usually it was with his morning coffee. "Coffee too hot, Don?" he chuckled.

"Tea this time," he replied as he dabbed his lips with a cool cloth, "you'd think I'd learn by now, wouldn't you?"

Mike laughed, "Can't teach an old dog new tricks, Donny-boy."

* * *

_"Hold him down!"_

"_NOOOO!" The needle terrified him, he couldn't take any more and he fought as hard as he could against his captors. Spittle ran down his mouth and a blow to his head didn't stop his frantic movements, he was broken and he knew that this wouldn't continue for much longer. He wished that his final moment would come and silently pleaded for Saki to end his pain now, he didn't care how he died as long as they made it swift. This needle wouldn't grant him that wish. _

_Saki had grown bored of him, it seemed that there was no chance to obtain what he wanted from Leonardo and he knew that it was time to end his misery, he halted his men and approached the tortured animal. He stood over him as Leo was forced to his knees._

"_Take him back to his cell. Sever his head." Saki walked away, "Leave his body where they can find it."_

_Leo's struggles ceased and he allowed the Foot ninja to half carry, half drag him away. His torment was finally over._

_He slumped to the floor and was roughly pulled to his knees, his head stayed bowed and he thought of nothing, no final words of his family for they had abandoned him, he didn't plead for survival, what was the point? His life wasn't worth living anymore. He heard the blade and felt the rush of air as it was lifted and waited for the killing blow, then another sound broke through, a war cry like nothing he had ever heard before, a scream of anguish and hatred that tore at his heart. A sound that he hadn't heard in a long time._

_Raphael lunged his sai into the heart of the ninja and his katana dropped from his limp fingers, the other that remained screamed and launched himself forward. He was cut down before his battle cry had ended._

_Gentle hands wrapped around Leo's shoulders and pulled him backwards, another hand, this one warm and furred, cupped his chin. His sensei and father stared into his eyes and Leo cried inwardly as he saw the fear in his expression, fear and pity. Leo allowed the darkness to encompass him as his body was lifted softly and carried away._

Leo hugged the blankets tighter as his nightmares played themselves out yet again, his foetal position offering him some comfort from his horrors. A hand gently stroked at his forehead and his body relaxed slightly, the soft caress subconsciously easing his troubled mind. Splinter wept by his son's side and silently pleaded that his pain would end soon before he was lost completely. He heard a sound, footsteps approaching the door and quietly stood, he bent down towards his son and softly kissed his brow before heading towards the open window.

Raph pushed the door open quietly as he did every night, he needed to check on Leo to make sure he was safe, to make sure he was still there. To make sure that he hadn't wandered off silently to try and find another way to kill himself without his family finding him until it was too late. He smiled when he noticed his brother sleeping peacefully and approached the open window, it was cold outside and he didn't want Leo to catch a chill from the breeze. A final glance and Raph left his brother for the night, his own bed was calling as he yawned deeply.

* * *

AN: This chapter took a lot out of me to write, usually I like to write chapters in one sitting but this time it was written over a few days. I had a lot of trouble writing the part with Leo and Mike and it probably shows, I hope I didn't mess it up completely. 

Reviews:

**Digmon Girl**: Another update, I hope you enjoyed it! Thanks for the review:)

**Darktiger2**: Actually, I'm working on the next chapter for WTRLPSU so I'll send it to you when it's done. Don't worry, I haven't forgotten about it. Thanks for the review:)

**Pacphys**: Hehe, yeah. I usually just settle for 'chucks' most of the time, it's too confusing, LOL! You've got the family down pretty well and you'll probably notice that Don doesn't stay angry for long, he needs all the help he can get right now. Yep, Saki needs to pay for what he has done and I may even do a sequel, possibly a one-shot, so that the family can get their revenge. Thanks for the review:)

**Ramica**: Thank you! I'm so glad that you reviewed:) I have difficulty writing all of Leo's torturous memories, they are heart-wrenching, I'm glad that I am translating them so well that everyone can see as I see it and that means so much to me. This does take so much out of me to write and I always feel drained after completing each chapter, it's a tearjerker for me. Thanks for the review:)

**Reinbeauchaser**: I think from the very start of this story that I wanted Don to be the main healing aspect in Leo's life right now, it's sad that Splinter's character is reluctant to help his sons. I wanted to alienate him from the family but found that I couldn't completely do that, it's just not in his nature and I wanted to keep him in character as much as possible whilst still pushing his limits. I think there is a breakthrough for Splinter in this chapter, so hopefully things will be looking up. Thanks for the review:)

**BlueRaven**: I take it that by cute you mean Leo and Don's little cuddle at the end? LOL, yeah that was kind of cute. Thanks for the review:)

**Pi90katana**: Good? I think I'm cruel not good! LOL! As I've mentioned, I am thinking of writing a sequel so that the guys can get their revenge, Saki does need some payback! Thanks for the review:)

**Spootycup**: I received your email and decided to finish this chapter off, there was more to this one than the other chapters for other stories so I went with this story. Hope you enjoyed! Thanks for the review:)

**In The Clouds**: Ooh! I've read 'Reflections' however it was some time ago so I think I'll take another look. Don's decision was short lived but I think he realised that he couldn't do this on his own, he needs help and there's only so many people he can turn to. Thanks for the review:)

**Auri1**: Thank you so much! I'm glad that I can translate the emotions and feelings in such a way, it means a lot to me as a writer to know that you can feel everything that I'm trying to show you. I think Don decided that it was in Leo and Mike's best interests to allow them to see each other, as for Raph? Well, I'm not so sure about that yet. Thanks for the review:)

**Rev**: Past life regressions? Did I torture people in a past life? LOL! Quite possibly! Thanks for the review:)

**Joyjoy101**: Scary? I do hope so, LOL! Thanks for the review:)


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: As always, nothing's changed and I still don't own them.

WARNING: The content of this chapter talks about and details drug use and the effects that they have.I know that this gives something away about the chapter, but I'd rather peoplewho may be sensitive to that sort of thing know before handthan get into trouble for not giving suitable warning for it.

Chapter 6.

Raphael searched the house frantically. Leo had disappeared again and his brothers had left to search the barn and woodland, they had done this many times and had always been worried about his absence but invariably found him safe and sound in some secluded part of the farmhouse. This time was no different except that today Leo had found a quiet spot in the utility room set off from the kitchen, another place to add to the list to check if he disappeared again. It was dark inside the small room, there were no windows and the lights had been kept off, the only light came from the open door but it was obviously enough for what Leo was doing. His back was to the door and his shoulders hunched over as he focused on something on the wall. Raph whispered gently, knowing that Leo was startled easily.

"What're you doing, bro?"

Leo's head snapped around and he flew up and away from the wall, he glanced fearfully at his brother and moved his head roughly from side to side, "Please don't be angry, I'll clean it off, I promise!"

Raph stepped back slightly, signalling to Leo that he wasn't a threat, "Clean what off?" he slowly lifted his hand to the light switch and flicked it up, the room flooded with light and the wall that Leo had been so focused on became clearer.

Raphael's jaw dropped…

A picture of Splinter with his body pinned to the wall by a katana through his chest, a picture of Mike as he thrashed around in a sealed tank that slowly filled with water. Don tied to a table, screaming in agony as the scalpel cut through his plastron, and Raphael standing side by side with Oroku Saki smiling as he watched.

"What the hell is this!" he screamed and Leo darted for the door. Raphael grabbed his arms and yanked him back, his grip was tight and he could feel Leo shaking. "What the hell are you doing?" Raphael glared at him and Leo's eyes widened frightfully.

"TELL ME!" he bellowed.

"D… Demons. In the paintings, they're trapped in the paintings. They can't get me if I trap them in the paintings, they want to hurt me and I won't let them. Don told me to do that! He told me to scare the demons away! Don did!" Leo rambled frantically, he was scared that his brother would hurt him and fearful that he would be punished for what he had done.

Raphael calmed slowly as his brother babbled on, he knew it wasn't Leo's fault that he acted like this and his initial shock was beginning to subside. He took several deep breaths to try and compose himself and looked at the paintings again, they were hideous and he wondered from where these images came. The best thing to do was ask.

"Leo, it's okay. I'm not gonna hurt you, calm down." He eased his pressure but still kept a hold on Leo's arms. "Where did these pictures come from?"

Leo shuddered as he turned his head towards the detailed images on the wall, his breathing eased as if he had completely forgotten the events from a moment ago.

"They're my nightmares. He made me see them, he still makes me see them."

"Who? Saki?"

Leo nodded.

"Talk to me, Leo. What did he do to you?" Raphael gently pushed Leo towards the wall and gestured to the paintings, "Tell me what he did to show you this… this nightmare."

Leo stared at the wall with a morbid fascination, his head tilted to one side as he thought about that day, "He injected me with something…"

_They dragged him along the corridor, the injection earlier had begun to take effect and he knew that now it was time for his next session. The light in the room was bright and he squinted his eyes to keep his vision clear, the usual colours drifted and blended together, causing a rainbow effect and he thought for a moment that he could smell the greenish blue hues above all of the rest. He shook his head for clarity but it didn't help as the room began to spin. He grunted as they threw him into the chair and began to tie his limbs, the sound of the leather as it scraped against his flesh reverberated through his brain and his head lolled back with dizziness. Everything became sensitive, his flesh, his hearing and his eyesight. He knew that he had been dosed up with some form of drug but he had no idea what it could be._

_"L.S.D." Saki said as he approached and began to circle Leo, "is a powerful narcotic that makes the user susceptible to suggestion, an ideal substance for what I have planned for you today."_

_"L.S…D?" Leo slurred, the full effects now taking hold. Saki cupped Leo's chin and lifted his head to face him._

_"Yes, Leonardo. L.S.D. Lysergic Acid Diethylamide, potent in many forms and with the right amount it can cause hallucinations that can frighten even the strongest into an early grave. I hope that that doesn't happen with you, I really do enjoy your company." Saki smiled as he stared into Leo's eyes._

"He gave you L.S.D?" Raph whispered, slightly stunned, Leo didn't seem to notice the question.

"He made me see things. I saw these." He pointed to the paintings.

_"Your father is dead! Look at him!"_

_"NO! He's not! This isn't real! Not real!"_

_But it felt real and Leo couldn't stop the tears from flowing down his cheeks as his father's lifeless eyes stared down at him, the last words spoken were curses at his dishonourable son._

_"And what of your youngest brother? Are you going to let him drown?"_

_The tank filled with water and Mike frantically slammed his fists against the glass, his screams filling Leo's ears as he pleaded for his brother to save him._

_"LEO! HELP ME! PLEASE!"_

_"MIKE!" Leo's head spun towards Saki, "Don't do this! Please, don't!"_

_Saki gently stroked Leo's head, his words whispered and calm, "You can make this stop, Leonardo. You know what you must do."_

_Leo's head was spinning, reality and fantasy mingling together to confuse him further. This wasn't real and yet it was, it seemed real._

_"No! This… This isn't real. That's not Mike! It's not!"_

_"LEO!" Mike's head disappeared beneath the water, his movements becoming frantic. A moment later, his eyes began to close slowly and his body began to still when finally it ceased and Leo watched another family member die._

_"STOP THIS! Please… Stop."_

_"Join the winning side, bro. If you do, it will stop."_

_Leo's head turned slowly away from Saki and his eyes widened as Raph grinned back at him, he tried to speak but the words wouldn't form._

_"It ain't that bad, Leo. You get treated real good here, good food, good lifestyle, everything that we could ever want. It's all here for us, just say the word, bro."_

_Leo shook his head madly, he couldn't believe that this was real, it simply couldn't happen. It would never happen and yet there was something inside of him making this all very real, something that controlled his reality and made it a nightmare. His brother had sided with the enemy and was willingly watching his family as they were slaughtered before his very eyes, could he be that cold? Could he really allow this to happen? No. There was no way that Saki could turn his brother, he knew that Raph hated Saki as much as he did, it simply couldn't happen. Raphael was quick tempered and frustrated most of the time but his heart was a good one, his family meant everything to him._

_"Even the best of us turn, Leo. Life gives us options and we choose the path that suits us best. I chose this path. You should too." Raphael replied as if reading Leo's mind._

_"No… You can't choose his side! Raph! Don't do this! Save them!"_

_Raphael's smile dropped and he glared at Leo, closing the gap between their faces, "No."_

_"And now, Donatello." Saki hissed._

_"LEO!" Don's scream filled the room as the scalpel lowered to his plastron, the surgeon smiled with glee and pressed down. Don's head slammed against the tabletop as the blood began to pour; he frantically pulled at the ties that held him down. It was futile and Leo screamed, he begged Saki to stop, pleaded with him to leave his brother alone but his words diminished when Don's screams ceased and his head lolled to one side._

_Leo suddenly felt empty, alone and very, very afraid. His screams filled the room before slowly dying and becoming a fading whimper; the fight had left him completely._

_"Kill me." He whispered, "Please… just kill me now… no more…"_

"Shit." Raphael rubbed his brow as the full force of Leo's memory hit him, he watched as Leo stared almost mesmerised with the images that he depicted with such clarity.

"He wouldn't do it, he wouldn't kill me. He made me watch it over and over again, then he left me in the room with the lights switched off. It's amazing what the mind conjures up in the dark, the monsters that lurk in the shadows." Leo gently brushed his hand down the wall, his fingers gently caressing Mike's image. "When you found me, it was three days after that session, I think. It's what finally made me break. I lost my usefulness to him, then."

Raphael moved closer to Leo and lifted his chin, he looked into his eyes, "Leo, it's all over now. None of that ever happened, Splinter doesn't think that you're a disgrace, Mike and Donny were never hurt and I… I would never join him. Never."

"I know that. I really do but at the time, it was so real. I couldn't see the difference and it broke my heart to see my family massacred in front of me, it hurt to see you like that. I was broken and he enjoyed watching me break, watching me die slowly as he destroyed me from within."

"He'll pay for what he's done to you, I promise you that." Raph hissed sharply.

Leo watched his brother closely, his eyes were alight with anger and hatred, but there was something else: Tenderness, concern and love. Leo knew that Raph was angry with Saki for causing his pain, but Leo couldn't help the feeling of guilt within him at the trouble that he had brought to his family. He knew his brother was sincere in his statement, that Saki would suffer but at what cost? Could Leo allow his brothers to put themselves in danger all in the name of revenge? All for him? Would he allow that to happen? Leo's memories began to flood through him again, the katana in his father's chest, the tank, the scalpel, blood, pain and fear. His eyes widened at the memories and he panicked, they could so easily come true.

"No."

Raph frowned at Leo's almost silent response, "What d'ya mean 'no'?"

"Leave him alone. Let him do what he wants, so long as he stays away from us then we can stay away from him. Don't give him the opportunity to hurt you as well. Please, Raph. Just…" his head bowed, "I want my pain to end."

Raph shuddered, the fear peaked once again and he tightened his grip on Leo's arms, he hoped that his brother wouldn't try anything stupid. He's done it often enough and they had almost lost him on many occasions, it was a risk that Raph wasn't ready to take.

"Don't talk like that. Leo, please you're getting better, you're healing and that's the important thing." Raph soothed, then he straightened, "But I can't leave this alone. He has to pay for what he's done."

"NO!" Leo wrenched his arms free and jumped up, "Not for me! I won't let you!" he ran from the room and Raph quickly followed after him, he glanced around the kitchen and noticed the open door, then the open drawer by the cooker. He stepped closer, his pace was slow as the fear began to rise and he panicked at the carving knife that was missing.

**AN**: Okay, I think there's going to be one more chapter then an epilogue but don't hold me to that, I could be wrong. I hope this chapter was disturbing because it certainly disturbed me when I wrote it, if it is then I have achieved what I set out to do. Thanks to everyone who noticed my errors, with no beta reader, I have to go it alone and I admit that I posted it before checking it thoroughly. Sorry about that, I'm just a little too eager sometimes.

**Reviews:**

**Digmon Girl**: Heh, thanks:)

**Spootycup**: I don't know about lots more but there will be another chapter, I'm glad you're enjoying it! Thanks for the review:)

**Pacphys**: Heh, yeah I think I need to brush up on my word use. Thanks for pointing it out, I hadn't really noticed it at all! LOL! With this fic, I've had no end of trouble writing Mike's character, normally it's Don who causes me problems. Thanks for the review:)

**Reinbeauchaser**: Whew! Big review! Thank you:) I actually had trouble with the first part of that chapter, it was long winded but I got all caught up in the flow, whoops! LOL! Word use again, (slaps forehead) darn it! Hehe. I don't have any personal experience with this sort of thing but I admit that there has been a lot of research involved with this story, although I have exaggerated it a little in Leo's case. I thought that it would be a little more intense considering what actually caused his psychosis in the first place. I'm really throwing myself into this story, which is probably the reason why it is coming to an end. It's quite draining to write and the content is having an effect on me too, my other stories are really being neglected because of this one. LOL. Juddering? Hmm, I didn't realise I even used it, LOL, well in short it means jerking, shaking or vibrating. That flashback came very easily, it's a scene that has been in my head from the very beginning and one that I've waited a while to add. I hope it didn't upset you too much, or this one in this chapter! Yep, it is at the farmhouse, I thought it was the best place to put Leo to help him recover and it gave me more room to play with. Glad you're enjoying it and thanks for the review:)

**Darktiger2**: Don't worry, I'm still working on WTRLPSU, but I had to get this one out of the way. I'm working on the chapter slowly and I'll get it to you as soon as possible. Thanks for the review:)

**Ramica**: I've read The Enemy several times, it was a great story and I could feel the emotion in it so well. When I read it, it takes my breath away. It's one of my favourites. Everyone seems to feel sorry for Mike whilst he watched Leo talking to himself, it felt to me that it was the right thing to do and I'm glad that it came off the right way. I didn't want to make Mike look weak and child-like but no one has said that I have so I'm glad about that, he's certainly not a child and I have seen him portrayed that way even though he is a teenager or older. Thank you for the review:)

**Rev**: Emotion seems to be the key word with this story, I'm glad I'm writing it well enough to show what I see. Thanks for the review:)

**Pi90katana**: I hope you got my review for Rest in Peace, wonderful story! I loved it! Hmm… The voice? Sadly, I don't think it will be making an appearance in this story anymore, that's if my plan for it stays the same. I'd say that it's a very dark and patronising voice. If I could put a finger on it, I'd say a cross between Leo's and Saki's. You wanted to see more of Raph so I did as you asked, to be honest I had it planned so he was in this chapter so you must be a mind reader! LOL! Thanks for the review:)

**In The Clouds**: Hey! Long time no see! I hope you're not too rushed off of your feet, but I'm grateful you dropped by. Leo and Mike have been difficult to write together in this story, I think it's because Mike is always so cheerful and bubbly that all this angst is making it harder for me, glad you liked it though. Thanks for the review:)


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: I don't own them. :(

Chapter 7.

"Don!" Raph rushed through the open kitchen door and towards the closest set of trees from the house, his distraught brother was covering his tracks already and Raph was running on gut instinct alone. "Don! Damn it! Where are you?"

"Raph, what is it?" Don came running from the direction of the barn and Mike was hot on his heels, Raph didn't slow down for them as he quickly explained the last moments of his conversation with Leo. He felt the guilt building up as he recalled his persistence for revenge against Oroku Saki and his brother's dislike at the idea. Don didn't stop his pace but his anger grew, just what the hell was Raph thinking?

"Raph, why couldn't you just listen to him? He doesn't need this right now!" he yelled.

"I know, I know!"

"Damn it, Raph!"

"Enough! This is exactly why Leo's running, just cool it! We have to find him!" Mike snapped.

They stopped running in an open section of the woodland, it was futile anyway, they'd never find him like this. Mike's shoulders slumped and he shook his head, "Why would he take the knife?" he whispered solemnly.

Raph bristled, "Why do you think, Mike? So he can kill himself, that's why! Jesus, you can be so stupid sometimes."

"That's not what I meant, Raph! It's a knife, not a katana! He's trying to kill himself with a knife! You get me?" Mike stepped up towards Raph and they stood inches apart, Don watched and let out a sigh, there wasn't time for this. Raph's eyes widened in anger until he realised Mike's point, "Yeah, that's right! Do the words honourable death mean anything to you? He's Leo for crying out loud, he doesn't do things like this!" Mike spat out.

"He does now." Splinter spoke softly, the three brothers turned in his direction and he stepped towards them, "And he is doing this for you, for all of us."

"Since when has Leo been in any position to make decisions for us? He's not thinking straight!" Raph screamed. The fear and anger began to build at the situation and he knew that panic was in his voice, but at that moment he didn't care.

"Since he has seen his family collapse around him. Because of him!" Splinter snapped back, an uncharacteristic raise in his voice showed that he was just as frightened. "He is doing what he believes is right, he is trying to protect us!"

"I don't care! I'm not letting him do this!"

"Raphael…"

"NO!"

Raph ran off once again and his brothers watched him go, Splinter sighed and lowered his head. He knew he should have done something sooner, but fear and confusion restricted him, they made him weak. Now he regretted his actions, or lack thereof and wondered if he could have done something sooner to change this outcome. His sons meant everything to him, the fact that one of them had suffered so much pain that he now reacted unpredictably scared Splinter. He couldn't have foreseen this but he mentally kicked himself for not attempting to resolve it, he could have overcome his fear and at least tried.

He wasn't going to lose his son now.

"Hurry. We must find him."

* * *

'Coward.'

Leo knelt by the lake, the grass scratching at his legs but it didn't bother him, the voice was the true irritation.

"I'm not a coward." He whispered, "I'm not."

'They'll find you and stop you and then it'll all begin again. They'll treat you like a child and mother you, force you to do things like Saki did.'

"They're not like Saki; they don't want to hurt me."

'So why do your arms hurt from your brother's grip? That mark on your face where another brother slapped you, then there's all the times that you've tried to take your own life. They're keeping you alive because _they _want you alive, they don't care what you want. That's control. That makes them just like him.'

"They only want what's best for me, they care and they are hurting. I don't want them to feel that pain anymore, I'd rather take my own life than let them suffer as I have." Leo lifted the knife and studied the blade, it was sharp and he was surprised that they had been so careless to leave it lying around. Maybe they had decided that he was on the mend and could safely leave objects such as this accessible to him, or maybe someone had left it there knowing he would take it.

'Do it. Get it over with, save me from your drivel, I've heard enough to last me a lifetime.'

"Get out of my head!" Leo shouted, the sound echoed throughout the woodland and he knew that if his brothers were searching for him that they would soon find him with that noise. He needed to speed things up.

He lifted the knife and placed the point at his chest, the tip resting in the groove between his plates. He applied a little pressure and winced when the blade broke through; the blood began to trickle down the groove. The tears flowed freely, he would soon be free, his brothers could continue to live their lives without his burden. He would grant them their silent wishes, the wishes that they themselves refused to believe, the wish for this to end. Oh yes, he knew that they felt that way deep down, who wouldn't? It's only natural for them to feel that way and he knew that this was the answer; this one act would let his family finally find the peace that they deserve.

"Leo?"

He suddenly shook. Violently. The sound of his brother's voice, so innocent and soft was more than he could bare and the tears streamed down his face as his body began to convulse. Not him. Please God, not him.

"Go away, Donny. Please… leave me… please." He sobbed, it was all too much and the one brother who had dedicated himself to Leo's recovery stood not more than six feet away from him. He couldn't look at him, there was no way that he could look into his brother's eyes and see the disappointment that he knew would be there. Don moved closer until he stood before Leo and dropped down in front of him, Leo turned his head away, he couldn't bear to look in his eyes.

"Look at me, Leo." Don gently cupped Leo's chin and turned his head back to him but Leo kept his eyes closed, "Look me in the eyes." Still his brother refused. Don sighed and stayed quiet for a moment to try and slow his raging heartbeat.

"I'm not leaving you alone, Leo. I've been with you from the beginning and I'm going to be here until the end, whatever you decide to do." Don spoke softly, comforting his brother, "But please just think about this and damn it, will you look at me?" Don's voice wavered but there was no threat in his tone, he was pleading.

Leo's eyes slowly opened and he noticed the tears streaming down Don's face, his expression sad and fearful. Leo's voice was a whisper, "Don't cry, Donny. It's okay."

"How is it okay? God, Leo. I don't want you to leave me but I know that I have no right to stop you, it hurts so much." Don shuddered as his eyes fell away from Leo's and dropped to the knife that still rested at his brother's chest; he closed his eyes tight and didn't hold back the tears that wanted their freedom. When Leo's hand gripped his, Don squeezed it tight, he knew this was the last step, it would soon be over and Leo would find peace.

"I love you." It was the faintest sound but Don could hear it as if it had been screamed directly into his ear, he looked up and felt warmth flooding through him at the smile on his brother's face, he was happy. "Thank you." Leo whispered.

Don didn't get the chance to respond before his eyes widened and he screamed aloud, "NO!"

Leo cried out when strong arms wrapped around him and pulled the knife from his grasp, he kicked out and tried to twist free from Raphael's hold. Don leaped up and made to rush towards the two tussling brothers but found that he too was being tackled, this time by Mike.

"Mike! Let me go!" Don screamed, "Raph! Get off of him! Leave him alone!"

Leo kicked out frantically as both he and Don was separated from each other, he called out for Don and yelled for his freedom but Raph wasn't listening. Don didn't want to hurt Mike but if this continued for much longer then it would do more damage than any of them could repair, he needed to settle Leo down and fast.

"Mike, please, this is important. You have to let me go, I need to help him." Don pleaded but still Mike kept his grip tight.

"You need to help him kill himself? Is that it? We saw it all, Don! I can't believe that you were letting him do this!" Mike's voice was an uncharacteristic growl, he was obviously angry at his intellectual brother. Don seemed to ignore him as he continued.

"Mike, I don't want to hurt you but I will if you don't let me go." It was Don's turn to growl, Mike was taken aback.

"Don…"

"Look at him, Mike!" Don snapped but his strength dissolved, his voice becoming soft once more, "Look what we're doing to him."

Mike turned and watched as Raph bear-hugged Leo to his plastron, Leo's legs frantically kicking out at the air in front of them as he twisted and turned. His head was thrown back as a guttural scream pierced the silence of the woodland, a pained scream that made Mike's eyes water with tears. His grip on Don loosened and Don took the opportunity to wrench himself free, he ran towards Leo and Raph. Avoiding Leo's kicking legs; he quickly reached up and stroked the side of Leo's face.

"Leo, it's okay. Calm down, shh, it's alright." He spoke soothingly before glaring at Raph, "Let him go!" his hand yanked at Raph's wrist to add a seriousness to his tone but Raphael wasn't phased. "Damn it, Raph!"

"Raphael, let him go." Splinter spoke softly and Raph ignored even him, "Let him go. NOW!"

Raph released him and Leo instantly wrapped his arms around Don, the two of them dropping to their knees, Leo whimpering and Don trying to comfort him, both of them crying. Don was thankful for Splinter's intervention but he knew now that Leo would not get his wish, he would be refused once again and that would hurt him.

"Leo, I'm so sorry." Don said softly as he rested his cheek on Leo's head, his brother had now slumped into him and it was as if Don was cradling a small child.

Raph and Mike moved closer and their own emotions began to show, Mike's tears flowed freely and Raph couldn't stop his own as they watched their two brothers. Don rocked back and forth and for a moment he looked distraught, but anger quickly replaced that look.

"Don't you get it?" he yelled and Leo flinched in his embrace, "Don't you understand? He was happy! For the first time since this all began, he was happy! You had no right to stop him!"

He didn't release his brother as he launched his verbal attack, he was determined to prove his point and make his family see sense. "You all say that you want what's best for him, that you want to help him heal." Don focused on Raph, "You talk about revenge against Saki, how you want him to suffer for what he's done. To Leo, that means that you want to take him back to that hellhole that he spent eight months of his life in, you want him to return to a place that caused him so much pain. Did you ever stop to think about that? Your insistence for revenge was only making matters worse!"

Raph stared in shock as his brother yelled at him, the tears streaming down his face.

"And you!" Don turned his gaze to Mike, "You can't handle what's happened to him. You refuse to accept that he's different now and you're pushing him too hard! You want him to get better but you're not willing to wait!"

"And what about you?" Don's tone softened as he addressed his father but the anger was still there, "You can't face him and that hurts him more than anything. I remember a time when Leo was so happy after you complimented him for a move that he spent hours perfecting, and it was because of your praise, he holds you so high. He doesn't see that praise anymore and he feels like a failure. You won't even talk to him, how do you think that makes him feel?"

Splinter sighed deeply. It was no surprise to him that Don was reacting like this, with all of the care and attention that he had put into Leo's recovery; it seemed that he had become more sensitive to his sick brother's feelings. He knew how Leo felt and most likely put himself in that same position, wondering how he would react. A special bond had formed between his two eldest sons and it didn't surprise him that Don would permit, and even accept Leo's decision. He suddenly realised something. They had all spent their time trying to help Leo through this but in reality; they were trying to help themselves. They were all hurt by Leo's torture, every one of them in their own kind of suffering. They were all trying to heal their own wounds but had they once stopped to consider what it was that Leo truly wanted?

Splinter stepped towards Leo and Don, once close enough he touched Don's shoulder lightly and tugged back. Don resisted at first but a glance at his father's face made him ease his grip on Leo, Splinter smiled his thanks and reached out to lightly stroke Leo's face.

"Leonardo?"

Leo slowly and shakily looked up and at Splinter, shuddering breaths escaping on their own. Splinter noticed the wound and smeared blood on his plastron and noticed that some of Leo's blood rested on Don's as well, he had been so close to losing him and he felt a jolt of pain at that thought. He held out his arms and silently beckoned his son to him, Leo held back for a moment before allowing his father to embrace him.

"I am so sorry, my son." He whispered, "I have been selfish in my desire to see you well that I neglected you, that is unforgivable."

Leo remained silent, his body continuing to shudder in Splinter's arms.

"I was afraid to witness your pain and suffering at Saki's hands, afraid to see you in this state. I have always taught you to overcome your fears so that you could protect your brothers, and yet here I am, allowing mine to overpower me when I should be defeating them and protecting you. I am a hypocrite and I beg your forgiveness."

Still, Leo said nothing. His tears had stopped and he watched Splinter in fascination as his father spoke of his regret.

"I ask only this of you, my son. I ask that you forgive a foolish old rat for allowing fear to control me, I could not bare the pain of losing you but I will not stop you. We have no right to do that." He kissed Leo's head lightly, "I love you, my son."

Splinter released him and stood, as he backed away he gave a warm smile, it was then that Leo noticed the knife by his knee. Splinter must have retrieved it during the commotion and placed it at Leo's side after Don had confronted his family. He cautiously picked it up, a concerned eye watching his two younger brothers to make sure that they didn't restrain him again. He noticed that they were watching him with wide eyes and that they seemed to want to intervene, he wondered why they didn't.

He raised the knife to his plastron for a second time, gripping the handle with both hands. He found that he wasn't shaking as he had been before and wondered whether it was because his family were there watching. He wasn't alone now and they were allowing him to decide for himself, he could take his own life and they would let him.

"Leo…" Mike's shaky voice broke the silence and he looked up. His youngest brother was trembling and wanting desperately to move towards him, "Please don't do this… I promise… I won't push you, I won't… You can take all the time in the world and I'll be there for you… no pressure… just, please… don't do this…"

Leo's head cocked to one side and he watched as Raph gripped Mike's shoulders, he knew that his feisty brother didn't like emotional displays and wondered if he would remain silent. Raph didn't.

"Leo, I'm sorry. I didn't realise what I was doing, I had no idea that my want for revenge was having that effect on you. I thought that it would help to give you something to aim for, it's what I would want but I guess I didn't think about it. I made a mistake," he chuckled lightly, "not the first and certainly not the last. But I promise that I won't mention it again, just please, don't do this just yet. Give us a chance."

Leo stared at them all, glancing at each in turn as they watched him. His eyes fell on Don and he noticed his brother shaking heavily, his eyes watched the blade that was pressed to Leo's plastron. Again, Leo's head tipped to the side and he frowned at Don's pained expression. Sadness flooded through him and he started to see the fear in his brother's eyes, fear that he was causing. His own eyes lowered to the knife and he noticed that he had unconsciously pushed the blade in further, the blood was flowing again.

Don was scared. Leo could read the pain and fear in his eyes, the shear emotion that screamed despair. Don didn't want him to die and yet he was willing to watch and allow it to happen. Could he really hurt his brother like that? Could he hurt any of them like that? No. There was no way that he would let them suffer in the way that he has, that wasn't what he was like. He was Leonardo, he _is_ Leonardo and as such, he will protect his family, even if he had to protect them from himself.

He pulled the knife away and scrutinised the blood that covered the tip, twisting the blade around in his grasp and watching with fascination as some of the blood dripped to the ground. He looked up to Don and offered him the knife, handle first. Don cautiously reached for it and when Leo let it go, he let it drop to the ground at his side.

The movement was quick but when arms encompassed him, Leo smiled.

* * *

AN: Well, that's it guys. The epilogue is next and then this story is complete! I'm quite pleased that this is nearly finished; it'll be a first for me to finally have one of my fics done and dusted. YAY!

Reviews:

Pacphys: Heh. Yep, Raph went a little overboard with that one, didn't he? We know he wants to get his own back but he did need to lay off a little, poor Leo tried to tell him and in the end he had to be blunt and take the knife. Nothing like a rude awakening to him see sense. Thanks for the review :)

Spootycup: Hehe, now you know what Leo had in mind, thanks for the review :)

Digmon Girl: Glad you're enjoying it, thanks for the review :)

Darktiger2: Yep, messed up and frightened, poor fella. I'm trying to get this chapter and possibly the epilogue out of the way before I finish the next chapter for WTRLPSU, I want to focus on getting that one finished next. Hope you don't mind the wait? It shouldn't be too long. Thanks for the review :)

Sassyblondexoxo: You know? I had no end of trouble with Splinter when this first started, he was complicated and he wasn't even around long enough to make a decision about what to do with him. (shrugs) I hope I didn't mess him up too much. Thanks for the review :)

Pi90katana: I'm glad you hate Saki even more now, he has a lot to pay for and I'm hoping that-after a break from this kind of writing for a while- there will be a sequel to let the guys get their revenge. I hope this chapter made up for the shortish one before it? LOL! Give me some time to read through 'Suicide' and I'll try to post a review for every new chapter from here on out, sorry I missed it! Oh, and I lied. The voice did make another appearance! LOL! Thanks for the review :)

Rev: Are you happy now? I've finally posted this darned thing! LOL! Thanks for the review :)

Ramica: When I read your review, it made me realise something. At the time of writing it, I was re-reading 'Seth'. Reinbeauchaser's 'The Price of Passion' and her portrayal of a distraught Seth made me want to read it again, so I did and I wonder if I unconsciously did that because of W. A. Peabody's story. Hmm… I didn't even notice. Sorry about that. Yes, Saki is a nasty piece of work and I hope to write a sequel for the guys to get some payback, it'll be a while though, I need a break from all this angst! LOL! Thanks for the review :)

An epilogue is all that's left to go, folks. Thanks for reading :)


	8. Epilogue

AN: Sorry to keep you all waiting for this epilogue, I didn't know how to finish it off and I've had a lot of things going on right now. Luckily, with three weeks off of work I should have plenty of time to catch up on my stories.

Reviews:

Reinbeauchaser: I had tears in my eyes when I was writing that chapter, it was very emotional and I think that that one is my favourite chapter. I did actually think about killing Leo off but I couldn't bring myself to do it in the end, I had two endings planned for chapter 7 and Leo's death was going to happen up until the last minute. Leo on the mend? Hmm, I'm not too sure whether this shows much of an improvement but he's certainly better than he was. Thanks for the review:)

In The Clouds: Wow, that's such a compliment! Like they say, 'all good things must come to an end' and I hope this ending meets with your approval. I originally started this fic with Raph as the one to help Leo, but it changed and Don got the job. Thanks for the review:)

Leo Oneal: I'm glad you liked the story, I did toy with killing Leo but I found that I couldn't do it. That was a hard decision to make for me. Thanks for the review:)

Amberli Raven: As requested, the final chapter to Recovery. Thanks for the review:)

Lioness-Goddess: Heh, believe me, I've been trying to finish this puppy but I couldn't engage the brain. I'm glad it's finally done, and now I can focus on others and maybe get some of them completed too. Thanks for the review:)

Vampy: Yep, Don is great, isn't he? I did enjoy writing him in this fic; it felt so natural and flowed relatively easy for me. Thank you for the compliment, I'm glad you enjoyed it so much and I hope this last chapter lives up to the rest. Thanks for the review:)

Epilogue.

Don walked into the dark silent bedroom, he knew Leo was in here even though his brother made no sound and he had to check just to make sure. _Make sure of what?_ He said to himself, _that Leo hasn't gone back on his promise and decided to end it?_ No, he knew that Leo wouldn't do that, his brother had made a promise and if one thing was certain, it was that Leo kept his promises. Still, it doesn't hurt to check.

"Hello, Don."

Don smiled, "Hey, Leo." He replied, "I'm not disturbing you, am I?"

"No, I was just trying to meditate, it's not as easy as it used to be." He heard Leo sigh and then a shuffling sound as he stood. His brother appeared in the ray of light that came from the open door and Don noticed his unmasked eyes slightly straining, Leo spent much of his time in the dark. Don always put it down to the white room that Leo was kept in; it must have made it hard for him to get any rest. It is only natural that he prefers the darker environments now.

"I was wondering, we've been home now for a couple of weeks and I don't want to push you but I was thinking of visiting April. Do you want to come with me?" Don was a little apprehensive about asking Leo, he knew that Leo's recovery was purely under his control and whatever he wanted to do would be done. No one could push him into something that he didn't feel ready for.

Leo seemed deep in thought, as though he was weighing the consequences of the decision, an unnerving silence passed before Leo replied: "I think I can manage that. Are you leaving soon?"

Don nodded pleasantly, "As soon as you're ready."

XOXOXOX

They didn't speak much on their journey and they both felt that the other was okay with the silence. Don made sure that Leo was comfortable, the safety of the lair behind them and the open space around them made Leo feel vulnerable, he didn't want to make matters worse by distracting his brother's concentration. Leo himself spent a lot of his time relying on his senses to tell him if danger was near, he knew that Don was aware of that fact and silently thanked him for it. He suddenly realised that he owed his brother so much, everything that Don had done for him whilst he screamed and yelled exhaustedly must have been a drain on Don as well. Yes, the other members of the family had done so much but it was Don that had truly helped. Without him, Leo wouldn't be here right now, they all realised that. Don had spoken for Leo, he had said the words that Leo found he could not and he owed his brother dearly. Without warning, Leo spoke softly and quietly: "Thank you."

Don turned his head to look at his brother, the words he spoke came very close to being missed but Don did catch them. "For what?" he replied, equally as soft and quiet.

"We'd be here a long time if I told you everything I have to be thankful for. I guess I'm hoping you'll know what you've done." Leo stopped moving for a moment as a sound caught his attention, he noticed that Don had also heard it and was now trying to narrow down the cause. Suddenly, three Foot Ninja launched themselves at the two brothers. Don pushed Leo to one side and charged the three ninja, the narrow alley made it pointless for Don to use his Bo staff and he resorted to fighting without it. The three ninja, however, found little difficulty with the katana that they carried and felt that they were at an advantage. Don effortlessly avoided their swings and was able to take down one, but the other two adapted quickly. Don picked up the katana that the fallen ninja carried and held off against the other two, he glanced at his brother briefly and could see that Leo was torn. He didn't know what to do, he couldn't let his brother fight alone and yet he was still afraid to help him. Don's expression told Leo enough to know that he didn't want him in this fight, whether or not Leo thought that he was ready for this, Don still felt he wasn't. His brother understood but that didn't make it any easier for Leo.

His mind was made up for him as a forth ninja appeared, this one heading straight for Leo, Don screamed out a warning and Leo's eyes widened frightfully, he stepped back as the ninja landed in front of him. The ninja chuckled menacingly and spat: "You're the freak that my master tortured," he stepped closer still, "I enjoyed watching you suffer then, I'm going to relish it now. Maybe I'll let you live long enough to watch them kill your freak brother as well."

Leo's shell hit the wall and he forced himself not to drop down to the ground, he didn't have any weapons to defend against this man but he wondered that if he did would he be able to stop him anyway? He started to seriously reconsider whether he was ready for this.

The ninja chuckled again, "Or maybe you'd like to see the Master again, we could take your brother along and let him experience first hand what we do to freaks like you."

Leo's eyes widened, "No, leave him alone."

"Or what? You gonna kill me? I would've been scared before but not now; you're nothing but a broken animal. I remember when we first found you and took you down, you fought like he does now," he pointed towards Don, "It'll be fun to see him break too, is he like you? Will he hold on until the end and beg for death? I can't wait to find out." The ninja chuckled cruelly and watched as Don took a blow to the back of his knees, sending him crashing to the floor.

Leo's eyes narrowed and his breathing turned into a growl, there was no way that they were going to take Don. There was no way that Leo was going to allow that and have his brother suffer as he has, no way.

Leo screamed aloud and ran at the laughing ninja, his shoulder crashing into the unsuspecting man's chest. He kept going, pushing and pushing until the ninja's back slammed against the wall. Leo raised his fist and punched the ninja in the face and he felt the breaking of bones, he didn't stop though, his anger fuelled him to continue hitting the man over and over again. When he finally dropped to the floor, Leo stood over him, breathing heavily from the exertion. He was angry with this man, for his threats, his cruelty and most of all, for staying down. Leo wanted to hurt him, wanted to kill him but the man was weak and now he was unconscious.

Two more ninjas appeared and headed straight for Don, Leo cried out and ran towards his brother but a shout from the opposite end of the alley drew his attention.

"Hey, you creeps!"

Casey charged into the alley with his baseball bat swinging, launching himself at two of the ninja and slamming the bat into their faces. They yelled in pain and then silenced when the second blow knocked them unconscious. Don was able to recover and quickly served the same to the remaining two, without hesitating or greeting Casey he quickly ran to Leo.

"Are you okay?" he asked breathlessly, his eyes searching for any injuries on Leo and his hands gripping his face. Don was panicked but not about the fight, Leo had only just built up the strength to face the outside world, he wasn't ready to fight again so soon. "Leo? Are you okay? Talk to me."

Leo could see the concern on his brother's face and reached up to grip his wrists, he pulled them free and instantly wrapped his arms around his brother. "He said he was going to take you, Don. He wanted to torture you like they did to me, I couldn't let that happen, I… I was so scared. God, I was so scared."

Don gripped his brother in a tight embrace, "It's going to be alright, Leo. You're going to be fine, we'll just get you home and safe." Don looked towards Casey, "Thanks, Case. We really needed your help back there."

Casey nodded and smiled, "No problem, you know I'm there for you guys." He replied, "Listen, April's place is closer than the lair. It'd be better for the two of you to stop there first, when you've had a drink and some time to relax then we'll head back. How's that sound?"

Don liked the idea but he had to think of Leo, his brother was in shock and needed to rest. "What do you think, Leo? We still get to visit April and maybe we could call Raph and Mike and they can come over a little later. I'm sure they'd love to see her too."

It was a lame excuse, but he didn't want to head back home alone.

XOXOXOX

"Leo, honey. How are you feeling?" April draped a blanket over his shoulders and gave him a little reassuring hug. After a moment, Leo looked up to her and smiled.

"I'm… fine, I guess. I've still got some way to go judging by what just happened out there." He sighed heavily and April reached around him again, she hugged him for some time and Leo felt safe in her arms.

"Hey, don't I get a blanket and a hug too?" Don quipped with a grin. April frowned at him playfully and then smiled.

"Sure you do, just don't tell Raph and Mike otherwise they'll be wanting one too."

"My lips are sealed, after all, that leaves more for me and Leo." He chuckled. The room fell silent for a moment and Don glanced at Casey, "Um, Casey? Could you go and ring the guys, ask them if they want to come up and visit?"

Casey winked, "No problem, I'll let them know." He left the room quietly and April turned to follow, "I'll make sure that the kitchen window's open for them, last time I left it closed Mike tried to open it and broke the pane with Raph's sai." She rolled her eyes as she made her way out of the room.

Don called after her, "It was an accident!" he heard a muffled 'yeah yeah' and chuckled a little.

Don turned back to Leo and noticed him studying the patterns on the floor, "Are you sure you're okay?"

Leo nodded slightly, "I'll be okay, it was just a shock that's all."

After a moment Don spoke: "You handled that ninja pretty well, I admit you had me worried for quite some time, but when I saw you deal with that guy, I knew you were going to be okay."

"I was scared to death." Leo whispered. Don's arm reached around his brother.

"And six months ago you would have run a mile to get away from them, this time you stood your ground. And you fought one. That's pretty good going." He soothed.

"I guess. I just can't believe I let you fight those ninja alone, I left you alone in the middle of a fight." Leo complained.

"I pushed you aside because I didn't want you involved in that fight, I don't blame you for staying back. It would hurt me more to see you get involved in something that you're not ready for. It's okay." Don shuffled closer and allowed his tired brother to rest his head on Don's shoulder, "Just get some rest, Leo. We can talk some more in the morning when we're back at the lair."

XOXOXOX

The ninja walked towards the lone table at the end of the room, his steps were silent but Oroku Saki knew he was there, "Well?"

"They are back, Master. We encountered two of them, the one named Donatello and the other that we captured, Le…"

"Leonardo." Saki turned slowly with a wicked smile on his face.

"Yes, Master. We were defeated but Leonardo had little part in it, it is as you said, he is still weak." The ninja replied.

"Good. I do not want them to regain their strength, hunt them down."

"Yes, Master."

XOXOXOX

AN: One finished story and plenty left to go, a big thank you to everyone who read this story, and an extra BIG thanks to those who reviewed. :D


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